President Bush Visits Utah

So, apparently President Bush came to visit Utah recently. I guess he was trying to get Utahans to give him money (as if his connections to the oil industry have left him feeling the pinch of the downturned economy . . . wait, the news media would not like me to say we are in a recession. There is no recession. Just like there is no rice/food shortage in the world. Yeah, keep eating your Big Macs and watching your Plasmas with the Stimulus Package the government is sending our way. I mean, we wouldn't get a Stimulus Package if the economy was down . . . it's just a bonus for us being such an awesome country. I guess the news media also doesn't want us to think about the fact that gas prices continue to rise while an oil baron is in the white house. Yeah, that's just an unlucky coincidence. I'm sure that Pres. Bush has been true in his 2005/6 State of the Union Address when he promised to reduce our dependence on Middle East oil by like 25% -- good thing that the far minority of oil we use comes from Iraq, and most comes from South America. Way to promise to reduce oil dependence by like overall 2%. I mean, I LOVE spending 25% of my paycheck to be able to make it back to work the next day).

Now, for those of you that know my political orientation (can we say Democrat), you may be wondering why I know about the Pres' visit. Was I interested AT ALL? Nope. Was I excited that our President was coming to mooch money off of the Utahan public? Nope. I only knew this because of A) KSL told me. (Sidebar, my temp job doesn't keep me busy the entire 40 hrs/week I'm there, so I have a lot of time that I spend on KSL, Google News, and Wikipedia). And 2) one of the bosses at UCAT (also named Brian - we're good people) called while he was coming into work the other day to ask if I could get the phone number of the Utah Highway Patrol to see why the entire freeway was shut down. Come to find out, it was for Pres Bush's motorcade back to the airport. I guess we need to prevent 1/2 of Salt Lake Valley getting to work on time because the president is going to catch a private flight.

So, I was thinking about this. Being that President Bush's approval rating is worse that that for the Herp, I was wondering what kind of terrorist would want to off him at this point? I mean, he's pretty much a lame duck already. We have a few more months left with him in office. What's more . . . I think we're pretty much worse off the longer he's in office. If I were an enemy of the US, I would be praying that somehow President Bush found a way to stay in office LONGER. That would make more sense. Perhaps if someone really wanted to keep us down for the count, they could find way for Bush to run in 08 as a black woman. Maybe the people who made all those Eddie Murphy movies. Beyond that, if something were to happen to Pres Bush, we'd then have Cheney. And let's be honest. If he doesn't like a foreign power, he'll just mistake it for a duck and blast away. But next time he would likely have a nuclear weapon and not just a shotgun. (Sidebar, why is the Penguin our Vice President anyway? No wonder that Bat Signal has been MIA for some time.) Either way . . . I see that keeping Bush in office would be in the best interest of Osama or the Teletubbies at this point. Not to mention, I think that maybe Zebras would be a better idea for security on this one. Let's announce where the president is, then make him the only person on the road for miles. Looks like a pretty obvious bulls-eye to me, and I don't mean the Target variety.