Make Your Own Conclusion

I saw this picture on Poorly Dressed today.
My mind thought of this:
What do you think it means?

(Side note - when Googleing for a pic of Glenn Beck, I found a shirt that reads: "I think, Therefore I am Not Glenn Beck." I want this shirt.)

SNOWPOCALYPSE!!!

I have survived a Snowpocalypse. For real. This isn't the snowpocalypse-that-never-was in Utah. This was southern-style fine-Georgia style snowpocalypse. Chaos.

When we decided to move to Georgia, one of the great highlights (in our head) was the lack of Utah-style winter (aka more snow than you can shake a twig at - because we all know that snow responds to shaking twigs). Yes, we will take the murderous humidity for the hope of dry roads and no window scraping during winter. (Side note, when I did a Google image search for "murderous humidity," this was one of the first page results. What the Google???) We were warned by the locals that it does snow in Georgia, "maybe twice a year." We were also warned that snow can shut down the place. We assumed that this was due to two simple facts. 1) Georgians are the WORST DRIVERS EVER. I know, as a former Utahan driver, I should be complaining about Utahan drivers. But, they're awesome compared to Georgians behind the wheel. I'm not kidding. Even my native Georgian friends agree they feel like their lives are at risk anytime they get in a motorcar. 2) Due to the relative lack of snow, Georgia doesn't invest in snowplows or other snow removal technology. So, put INSANE drivers on a slipper surface and we have DEATH. So, we thought - we're from Utah. We can handle a little snow.

Our first "true" snow in Georgia happened on Christmas 2010. Everyone was crazy excited because this was the first time in over 100 years that Georgia had a white Christmas. Overrated - I prefer a tropical Christmas. The snow actually stuck to the ground overnight, which meant our church was canceled the next morning. (Remember: Crazy Georgia drivers+slippery surfaces=DEATH). We didn't mind the day off of church. (We're lazy Mormons.) The snow disappeared by the evening of December 26th.

This is the snow on Christmas Day. In total, we were maybe pushing an inch. Oooooo-scary.

So, we had weathered the big bad snow in Georgia. Even if we had needed to go out, I'm sure that my experiences of driving on unplowed roads in Lake Shore would have kept me alive. Whatev.

We enjoyed temperatures into the mid-50s over the next week or two (which was nice since Julie's dad visited us the last week of December). Yes, I was LOVING this southern winter. Taking the dog out in a t-shirt in the beginning of January - my kind of winter. However, our happiness was short lived.

We started getting warnings of a severe winter storm heading for the Atlanta area by January 6th. This time, worse than our little dusting on Christmas day. They were talking INCHES of snow. Of coarse, all of civilization went to pot and people were foretelling the return of Baby Jesus. Martial law was instigated and people were rioting in the streets and burning effigies of Santa Claus and Jack Frost. Okay, maybe not quite that chaotic, but people were all a buzz and local grocery stores were overrun with people trying to prepare. We heard that Home Depot sold out of generators and some grocery stores were running out of basic staples like milk, eggs, bread, etc. We actually went to the store for a few regular items that weekend, and the store clerk commented on how we were the only people she had seen that appeared to be doing regular shopping and not in panic mode. What can I say - we're from Utah. Snow doesn't scare us - and we have food storage. Silly Mormons.

The world as we know it came to an end on January 9th, 2011. That night all living creatures were demolished by a powdery white substance from the sky. SNOW. (Okay, maybe not all living creatures were demolished - I guess snow isn't as strong as an asteroid or humans are stronger than dinosaurs.) Thus was the beginning of the end. By the evening of January 9th, we had this:
We woke up on the 10th to find this:
Being the inquisitive Brian I am (coupled with the fact that Googling "Snow totals in Athens GA" yielded no useful results), I ventured out into the snow with my trusty ruler.
I plunged my ruler into the snow on my front lawn. About 6.5" inches of pure death was covering everything. (As for why my only ruler is purple and plastic - that's a mystery that we may never fully understand.) I don't know if this is how the news stations get their "totals," but I'm running with it and pronouncing it OFFICIAL.

Kronk had previously experience snow in Utah - and actually enjoyed it. Fortunately, he seemed to remember what snow was and didn't give us too much grief to go outside.
It's a good thing he's not pure white or we may have lost him. I also discovered that due to "freezing rain" and a small amount of melt/refreezing, after the first day all snow gets a hard shell - like M&Ms, but not as fun to eat. Kronk, however, is light enough to walk on said layer of ice. Sure, not as exciting as walking on actual water - but you draw your own conclusions.

With an official 6.5" of snow and no snowplows in the state (citation needed), UGA canceled classes on January 10th (ironically, the first day back from winter break). This was expected. Then they canceled classes on January 11th. Given that news reports were expecting freezing rain to fall on top of the snow (which was still over all the roads), this was again expected. Then they canceled classes on January 12th. And then they called for a "delayed opening" on January 13th and 14th (opening at 11 am instead of 8 am). Even though I have a class scheduled for tonight, the teacher decided to cancel it because several students come from several cities away and class doesn't end until 8 pm - meaning that any snow that melts today will add to the ice rinks that we call roads. So, we had ONE storm on Sunday night/Monday morning that left us with SIX INCHES. That one storm basically closed everything for OVER THREE DAYS. We didn't even have our MAIL delivered for two days (apparently "Come rain, come snow, come hail or sleet, the postman always delivers" doesn't apply here). I also heard that even Wal-Mart shut down for a period of time. We have not left our house since SUNDAY (it's currently Thursday). Fortunately we have not experienced any power outages (which is good because our only heat is an electric heat pump). Additionally, we are very happy for Netflix streaming and Hulu.

In the end, we have learned several things. 1) Snow really does shut down the south. 2) Kronk remembers snow. 3) The weather Gods hate me and are solely focused on my destruction - mentally and physically. 4) Gerogians cannot drive and should not even think of attempting this on snow. I actually read this on CNN: "The Georgia Department of Transportation warned that "no one should be driving north of Macon" (which is in the middle of the state). 5) Don't complain about snowplows coming late in Utah - at least they exist. 6) One snow day is fun. Two is intriguing. Four to five lead to insanity.

My Secret

I saw this on PostSecret and while I did not create the post card, I find it shocking that there is someone else in the world who thinks like I do.


This is how much I truly hate bills. I may start playing the lottery weekly - it's likely my only real hope to ever become wealthy. :D