Since Brian's a slacker . . .

I took this quiz, so please don't mistake it for Brian's. I will be asking him to take the quiz later, so we can compare notes.

Life Update and Graduation Presents

Only a few days left until I get to actually go to work - I officially start Sept 15th. YEAH. However, I do have to say that I'm going to miss watching TV during the day and sleeping in. It will take some adjusting to waking up early and being somewhere on time each weekday. I think I can do it - especially to start seeing money come back into my pocket again. Yeah, that's worth it.

So, I continued to brew on my love/hate relationship with Nintendo and their retarded marketing ploys with the Wii. However, my desire to own one would not stop. I WANT I WANT I WANT. And now that I'm employed, I want a prize. :P So, on Saturday Julie was the angel she is and started calling electronics stores in Salt Lake Valley. After a few calls, we located one store that had Wii in stock - and it was only 4 miles away. So, we quickly drove over and bought a Wii console and the WiiFit program (Julie is anti-video games and consented to the Wii only because of the physical activity involved and WiiFit). I closed my eyes at checkout (so I wouldn't crap myself) and thougth happy thoughts of playing.

I am enjoying my new toy. WiiFit is better than I had imagined. You can actually get a fairly good workout on it. You'll never become a fitness model, but it's a fun, interactive way to get some daily physical activity. However, I need more games (my birthday is next month - wink, wink). I think my first game will be Guitar Hero (I would love Rock Band - but I'm not sure I can find a place to store all the components in our house).

Also, in the mood of graduation presents, I want to share what Julie, my parents, and in-laws have done for my present. We took my BYU and U of U diplomas and had them customed framed. Having never custom framed anything, it was a bit more expensive than I had hoped -- but they turned out AMAZING. We went with a black leather mat and gold fillet to bring them together. I am really impressed - my wife has good taste!!

Is it Weird I Know This Stuff?

So, today is the saga of the iPod. This saga goes back several years. Somewhere about 2004, I purchased a used iPod on eBay.
It was a 2nd Generation 20 GB model. The really old kind that is massive by today's standards and doesn't even connect via USB. I used it for a while until I kinda fried it. I thought that I would prefer to connect via USB than Firewire - so I bought a 'converter' to allow me to plug it into a USB. I did this . . . and the iPod never connected with an iPod again. I realize this was not my greatest moment - actually, once I did it I realized the stupidity of the move. The iPod continued to play music and work otherwise - but no more adding music. :(

I later bought a 4th Gen 20GB iPod from a friend of a friend. Happy day. For some crazy reason, though, I kept the old monster iPod. I guess it's part of my family genetics -- we have a hard time throwing stuff away. It came in handy this past week.

My brother-in-law's 4th Gen iPod gave the iPod sad face of death. He bought a new Nano, and handed off his dead iPod to me. I saw a challenge - and accepted. Enter amateur iPod surgery.

I opened up the old iPod and removed the harddrive.

I then took the iPod harddrive from ancient iPod and placed it into the newer, but sad iPod. However, the older harddrive was slightly larger than the new one, so I had to do some hardcore squeezing to fit it into the new case. In so doing, I broke one of the internal latches - so the new iPod is sporting a length of tape around the top of the case. However, I feel this is a small price to pay for a fully-functioning iPod.

All said and done, I took two non-working iPods and created one fully-functioning iPod. When it came to naming the iPod, I decided that "FrankenPod" would be fitting. :P

Julie made a comment recently that my computer knowledge is not normal - especially for a social worker. Would this go in that category as well??

Am I THAT Pathetic??

So, I've discovered a new blog that I find amusing (well, I read about it on KSL - but I will still take credit). The blog is created by a fictitious Utah County Mormon airhead - and reminds me entirely too much of the S'Fork and my days at BYU. Really, I think it's an accurate picture of life down there.

Well, I was reading some recent posts and came across this one . . . which includes a shout out to Social Work. OK - maybe not a shout out. More like a burn. So sad. Recently I have been bemoaning the lack of money in my profession, but I try to keep positive. Well, now I feel that the universe is speaking to me. Yup. I'm a putz. I'm doomed to a low middle-class lifestyle forever. Awesome. However, I do find it completely hilarious that of all majors to belittle - she chooses SOCIAL WORK. Come on . . . Music Theater was taken??

I guess I can live with myself and chosen occupation. After all, let's look at the people in society poised to make changes in individual lives. Teachers, for example. Is there any career that is more closely linked to the future and success? Probably not. Do they get paid appropriately? Nope. Would the high-paid businessmen, lawyers, and computer engineers be where they are without former teachers? Nope. Sad but true. Then take Social Workers. Essentially we're paid to try to convince people to not kill self or others. I think that's pretty important. But, no - if you have mad talents at throwing balls and running across fields, then society thinks you're financially viable. I sense inequality.

NEW JOB!!

Good news blog friends - I have been offered (and accepted) a new job. YEAH. And no, it is not with the Prison. While jumping through all hiring hoops for the prison I have been continuing to interview at other places. On Wed, I interviewed with Assessment and Referral Services. The interview went really well - and I actually recognized the interviewers from a presentation I attended at the 2006 Utah Fall Substance Abuse Conference. It's always positive when you go into an interview knowing about what the agency does, etc. Overall, it was one of the best interviews I've ever had. I left feeling quite confident and pleased. I called Julie when I got to my car - and within minutes I received a call and was offered the job (literally, probably no more than 10 min after I left the office). Apparently they really loved me - so that's a good start. Julie and I spoke about the offer over lunch, and we decided to accept. The pay is better than the prison and as a University of Utah employee, the benefits are amazing. I get like 21 vacation days per year. Crazy. As far as compensation goes, I can't ask for more.

The work, however, isn't my dream position. I don't do ongoing therapy - but rather just clinical assessments for substance abuse and DUI issues. The interviews are apparently 2 hrs long - and then the report is anywhere from 6-12 pages long!! That's a LOT of typing. Actually, it seems like I will spend over 1/2 of my time typing assessments. But, that has it's pros as well. The office is very flexible with scheduling - and I also have the option of writing from home some times too. So, I think that it will balance out well. Overall, I think I'll like it. I'm comfortable with substance abuse populations and feel confident in my skills in that area. Also, if I feel that I need to do some ongoing therapy, I'll find a PT job at LDS Family or somewhere that I can work just a few hours a week.

Best part - I don't have to do POST training. However, I was feeling excited to do the weapons training (odd, huh?). I was NOT excited to do the running 7 miles a day thing. So, I think I can live without playing with guns for a few weeks (Julie says that I can go to the shooting range if I want to). It's all good!!

So now I am waiting to hear what my start date will be. I hope they can start me next week. I really want to start doing something with my life and making money. YEAH. So very happy.

Julie has also promised me that once I found a job I could get a Nintendo Wii (the only game system she will have in our house cause it involves some movement and has the whole Wii Fit system). So - being all excited I had thought that yesterday I could go to Walmart or somewhere to buy a system. Too bad they are still sold out all over the place. I guess Nintendo will only ship a few units every few weeks - so they sell out within one day. BUMMER. I hate being let down. So, now I either have to start stalking electronic stores to find a Wii in stock - or order one online. OR I can protest Nintendo's stupid tactics and not buy their product cause I hate games. Seems silly that they don't send enough product. Ya know - if you have to make your customers stalk after you . . . not cool. We'll see how it goes down.

My Cat Vibrates

If you have met Gwen, you know she's odd. If you check out Julie's blog, you can see some of Gwen's oddness (such as sitting on objects). Yes, it is true. She feels some odd compulsion for sitting on randomness. Instead of just lying on the floor, she'll sit on paper bags, shoes, boxes, or anything that is on the floor (except, of coarse her pet bed - I guess that is too much like floor). She even got on the laptop once - but I luckily saw that one in action so she was only there for a sec before she got the boot. I don't understand it. Why would she want to sit on uncomfortable shoes or plastic bags rather than carpeting? Makes no sense to me.

Well, today Gwen upped the ante. See, my old favorite was Gwen sitting on a pizza box (and, no Julie and I are not that messy - we had just finished a 'pizza picnic' on the floor and the box was still there). Today Gwen took to sitting on top of my phone, sitting on top of a Xerox box. I was unaware of this until Julie sent me a text. I heard the vibrations - but saw no phone. Just a Gwen. So, I thought to myself - we have 3 possibilities. A) Gwen swallowed the CrackBerry. 2) Gwen has learned a new trick. ∑) Gwen is sitting on the CrackBerry. Whereas Gwen is too lazy to take the time to learn to swallow a complete cell phone or learn anything new -- the only real possibility was ∑- Gwen was sitting on the phone. Sure enough, I move the large bundle of fur, and there is my Blackberry.

So, one has to wonder, why Gwen must sit on these objects. It is that she prefers lumpy surfaces to soft ones? Perhaps she misses sitting in the weeds in Lake Shore. Or maybe she wants to simply sit on things of value, and is still trying to determine what feels expensive. Or perhaps she is just plain stupid and weird. I'm going with the latter, cause she is, after all, a cat.

UPDATE:
I found the picture of Gwen sitting on a pizza box. Do you think she is part of the "ingredients made fresh daily?"

Who Needs the Transportation Dept?

So, if you're a typical citizen and discover a pothole or other issue with your local roads, you likely call the department of transportation or city or something like that. Well, my dad is not typical. Nope. No government agency can be counted on to cure his road woes as well as he can. If you find a pothole or other issue with the road, you mix some concrete and fill it yourself! Just to prove my point . . . see exhibits A & B.

Notice the sawhorse he set up to notify the passing traffic of his presence and keep cars off the wet cement. Orange barrels are overrated.

Whitetrash road repair?

I believe that he ended up using 4 1/2 wheel barrels of concrete to smooth out the area and keep from driving into a dip. Julie and I think that it might have been easier to just take the turn wider - but I guess that's not an option for my dad. If he wants to drive there, he will make a way to drive there. You better hope he never comes to believe that there needs to be a new road over your lawn and flowerbeds!

Also, for any who feel that a concrete patch on an asphalt road may be an odd choice - he's used concrete for more insane purposes. My personal favorite (and somewhat of a local legend) is to use concrete as an auto body filler. Our old Suburban had the rear quarter panels almost full of concrete. It added extra weight for traction in the snow - and heaven help anyone who might have hit that! Actually, he once ended up in a ditch and the Suburban came out without any dent!!

Almost There . . .

I'm still unemployed. BUT - I have now cleared pretty much all the hurtles in my way. See, not only do I need a degree to do therapy, but also a state license. However, before one can get a license, they must take a national exam. But, in Utah, before one can take the exam, they must have the degree conferred upon them. So, for the past few months, I've been applying to jobs - only to hear "you're great, but we need someone with a current license." Argh.

So, just about one week ago, I got my degree conferred upon me. YEAH. According to the U of U, I was done. That gave me the green light to take my licensing exam. That I did last Friday. After a few days of stressing (mostly because I did not study much all summer like I had planned) I went in and tried to take the test confidently. With that said, I passed!! Wahoo!! Oh so very happy day. I promptly sent my license application to the state. When I got home, I found that my official diploma came in the mail (making everything just that much more real). Julie has already commandeered it and sent it off with my BYU diploma to be framed as a graduation gift.

So, now that the state has my license application, hopefully I will get my license within a week or so. Either way, now that I've qualified for the license, I should have more prospective employers bring me in for interviews. Speaking of interviews, I had one last week at the State Prison. It was slightly scary to be walking up to the building with high fences and razor wire on both sides of me. However, the interview went quite well. I was thinking that the Prison would be the bottom of the barrel for me, but I left feeling that I would actually like working there. That's scary. I also have an interview with a youth correctional facility this week. So, it's looking like there's a good chance I'll be playing with corrections in one way or another. :)

Caught up in Politics

So, I pretty much maxed on politics during the Obama vs. Clinton Deathmatch 2008. It just went on too long, and my attention span didn't last long enough. Cookies. So, I kinda took a break from it all while the first black/woman/old president debate was whittled down to the first black/old president debate (which, according to Colbert is solved because of "racial turducken" labeling of all minority groups into one conglomerate - making McCain black because he also falls within the minority of old -- Man, I LOVE Colbert and Stewart). Well, now we also have another candidate entering the mix apparently. Paris Hilton is going to represent the minority celebrity. Yes, we're now back to three minority groups fighting for power - black/old/famous. But, does rich offset famous and bring the minority into power and therefore not really part of the minority? If so, she's still a woman - so she gets the 2-for-1 special. Wait, though - hasn't McCain bashed Obama because he is indeed a . . . celebrity (audible gasp). Oooohh, we can't have any of that uppity famous crowd running the USA. No, we need middle class, normal presidents like . . . like . . . well, I can't think of any recent presidents who were not rich and part of the elite class in society.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Hehe. I love it. I also love how Paris (well, her scriptwriters) has found a common-sense balanced solution. Gosh. If only others would step back from the "I'm right, so you can't be right" battle of straw men arguments and see outside the box. Wow, I never thought that Paris Hilton would be the one to look outside of any box - especially her own. I think this is a sign of the coming apocalypse. Bring it on!

Now, stepping away from balance and harmony (what do you think this is? Utopia? The sweet/spicy flavorings of Panda Express?) and back into bitter, argumentative, one-sided media that is the heart of the American way . . . I present to you my undying love for the Republican Party.

See more Adam "Ghost Panther" McKay videos at Funny or Die

Ah yes, the Republican Party obviously either A) needs strong psychotropic medications combined with cognitive restructuring therapy or 2) has taken way too many psychotropic medications without a doctor's supervision. Either way, it entertains me. I'm just shocked that this didn't come from the one and only true media outlet - Comedy Central.

It's Official!!

As of today, I am officially a graduate from the University of Utah. Although I finished my classes in June, I had to wait until the end of the semester for my degree to post. Well, today it did just that! I officially have my MSW. Wahoo!
Now that I have been awarded my degree, I can take my licensing exam. I registered for that last night. Once I get the letter in the mail (within a few days) I can call and schedule a time to go in and take the test. I'm not excited to take the test, per se - but I AM excited to get my license and finally get a FT job again. YES!

This is why old people scare me . . .

For those who know me well, you know that I'm terrified of old people. You just never know what you're going to get. They may crack you up - or they may crack your skull! Take this for example:



This old lady, though - she goes in the "crack you up" category. However, if you get some Listerine in her, I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to crack your skull too!!

TV Wouldn't Lie . . .

I trust TV. I mean, really. We've been good friends for as long as I can remember. Actually, I don't have any live friends that have been around for as long as TV. Not to mention, as loyal. TV never tells me it's too busy to hang out - or has other plans. Nope. I just make sure to plug it into the power source and satellite - and we're good. Always there, always provides a good time. :) Friends like this don't lie. That's why I undoubtedly trust TV.

So, TV tells me that people who pay to go to a gym are sexier that people who sit at home. Gym commercials show toned people with like 3% body fat - while the couch potatoes . . . well, they have no tone and decidedly much higher body fat. TV also tells me that I need to look like the gym folks. If I look like that, my life will be happier and much easier. No problems. Just be toned and the world will fall at your feet. This is too sweet to pass up.

TV has convinced me to join the gym. Now, not the gym where all the super hot people are on TV. I chose the city rec center (cause it's hecka cheaper). Still, it has all the thingies that go round and that heavy stuff people grunt at. I'm not sure what it's all for. BUT, I do know that know I have a membership pass, I'm going to be hecka sexy with a toned body and 3% body fat. I'm sure of it. Cause on TV, all the people who pay for memberships are like this. TV doesn't lie.

It's been two days. I still feel the same. Maybe there's a problem with the rec center. I should complain.

All Hail Stephen Colbert

I have to admit, that the Colbert Report is one of my favorite shoes. Seriously. I could watch it all day long. Well, now that I am going to have some time on my hands until UTemps finds me a new assignment (or I find a real FT job - I'm not choosy) . . . maybe I will watch it all day long. Thanks to Hulu and the marvels of the internet, I can! I was just watching this on Comedy Central -- and it's way too funny not to post!!

Ever Had One of Those Days?

I'm sure that we've all had moments like this. Being that I'm still somewhat lacking on that ability to see a trial as a blessing, this is my typical response when life isn't what I want it to be. Today, this is how I'm feeling about the 4-hr long classes I have back to back this week . . .

This image was taken off Engrish.com - which is one of my all-time favorite sites. You should visit it!!

Ahhhh - FIRE!!

When I hear “fire drill,” I think of two things. 1) The “Chinese” variety we did in high school when everyone in the car would jump out and run around it at a red light. 2) Elementary school. Now, I know that I’ve been in fire drills since then, but those times stick out (well, and the one time some yahoo at the MTC thought it would be funny to pull the alarm just before it was lights out – burn in Hades whoever you are!).

Here at Gateway Office Tower 2, we take safety seriously. Everyone has a 72 hr kit at their desk, emergency contact into on their person, etc. A few weeks ago, we had a “walk through” where we learned how and where to evacuate to. And a warning – sometime in June there will be a surprise drill. Oh goodie!

Well, sometime ended up being last week. But even better . . . I was in the exercise center just down from my desk when this happened. So, there I am all gross from exercising, in my ever so attractive gym wear when the alarm sounds. Great. I get to quickly grab my badge (so I can get through the locked door back to my office), meet my office team, and head out to the Grand Hall at the Union Pacific Depot where the entire building is meeting. That’s a lot of people – about 6 floors worth. They’re all in their business casual attire. I’m in gym clothes. I felt like someone should be singing the Sesame Street "One of these things is not like the other" tune. The nice secretary came up to me and said, "Brian, I'm pretty sure it's not casual Friday."

The best part was the I was almost done with my exercise routine. This means that I was about . . . maybe 3 minutes from being in the shower. And let me tell you, I would not have evacuated in the buff - or even a towel for that matter. The fire would have had to wait for me to finish my shower, dry off, and get dressed before it killed me. Luckily there was no fire. But, I'm sure that me taking the time to wash and dress would have been detrimental to the overall time it took for the building to clear out.

So, for any fire out there planning my death, I guess the best time to get me would be while I'm showering. I'd rather die than be seen in public in any form of undress. (Well, I just cleared exhibitionist from my possible life route -- so I guess there was some benefit in this experience.)

iPod + Crazy Friends = Good Times

So, I don’t typically get lost in memories. For the most part, the past is the past – and I want it to stay there. I guess while I may be optimistic for the future, I have a pattern of seeing the past with great pessimism. So, when I think back to high school, the mission, BYU, etc . . . I typically think, “Great oogeley moogely, I’m glad that’s over!”

There have been a few euphoric memories of late. I blame country music (no, that actually has reason . . . read on).

I listen to my iPod most of the time I listen to music. I have it connected to my car’s CD receiver, so it’s essentially a hard drive for my car. I also have it when I’m exercising. The only times I’m not listening to the iPod is in the morning (when the bathroom radio is set to 101.9 theend’s morning show) and when I’m at the computer (when I’m listening to the same music on iTunes).

So, I have a limited amount of music I cycle through (well, 18 gigs – but I get stuck on my favorite playlists a lot). Occasionally, I want to listen to music I don’t hear often . . . which often means I put it on the country genre. (Yes, I do like country occasionally.) This last week I was in country land for a few days. Two songs triggered actual happy memories of days past.

First, it was “Cold Day in June” by the Dixie Chicks (yes, I like the Dixie Chicks – in moderation). Instantly, I was back in high school, cruising around with my good friend, Haven. Now, why might this song remind me of her? Well, you see, when this song played on the radio a lot, we had a “routine” that went with it. We would do overly dramatic hand hand/arm gestures with the storyline (think Celine Dion in “My Heart Will Go On”). Yes, it was retarded. Yes, I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit it. But this is what Haven and I did. I remember when we were REALLY young and both got rollerblades we started making choreographies to some of our favorite songs. Think Ice Dancing on rollerblades. Gosh, those must have been horrible. And we always made Haven’s parents watch them. And they always encouraged/supported it. Now, THAT’S a sign of a good parent. Either way, I can’t listen to “Cold Day in June” without wanting to channel my inner “Celine” and belt it out like I did with Haven. Man, I miss that crazy girl! She now lives in Logan and works as a corrections deputy and firefighter. I think she needs to come visit me. :P

The second synaptic misfiring song was “Goodbye Earl” also by the Dixie Chicks (what can I say, my friends are as weird as me). This song makes think of the above mentioned Haven, her brother Hawken (don’t even ask – their parents went with more original names – but I love ‘em), and our good friend Katie. Now, the story of this song is a little different. Yes, we loved it. Every time it would play we would blast it and sing (well, scream) along. But, that’s not all. I heard rumor that the trio decided one day to make a “music video” to the song. So, Hawken was the unlucky Earl that Katie & Haven got to snuff out. I also heard that it also included some interesting “interpretive dancing” by Katie. Now, I was never allowed to see said video. I think they were too embarrassed to show the public. But, I can imagine it. And it’s pretty good in my head. And now, I miss Katie too. She up and ran away with her husband and son because apparently he had to get a PhD in another state. And now she’s going to have another kid . . . far from us. But, regardless of where she is, I’ll always have the Dixie Chicks induced synaptic misfiring.

In conclusion – if my old friends read this – I MISS YOU. And thanks for giving me rays of joy (no matter how insane) in the otherwise hit-and-miss memories.