So, apparently President Bush came to visit Utah recently. I guess he was trying to get Utahans to give him money (as if his connections to the oil industry have left him feeling the pinch of the downturned economy . . . wait, the news media would not like me to say we are in a recession. There is no recession. Just like there is no rice/food shortage in the world. Yeah, keep eating your Big Macs and watching your Plasmas with the Stimulus Package the government is sending our way. I mean, we wouldn't get a Stimulus Package if the economy was down . . . it's just a bonus for us being such an awesome country. I guess the news media also doesn't want us to think about the fact that gas prices continue to rise while an oil baron is in the white house. Yeah, that's just an unlucky coincidence. I'm sure that Pres. Bush has been true in his 2005/6 State of the Union Address when he promised to reduce our dependence on Middle East oil by like 25% -- good thing that the far minority of oil we use comes from Iraq, and most comes from South America. Way to promise to reduce oil dependence by like overall 2%. I mean, I LOVE spending 25% of my paycheck to be able to make it back to work the next day).
Now, for those of you that know my political orientation (can we say Democrat), you may be wondering why I know about the Pres' visit. Was I interested AT ALL? Nope. Was I excited that our President was coming to mooch money off of the Utahan public? Nope. I only knew this because of A) KSL told me. (Sidebar, my temp job doesn't keep me busy the entire 40 hrs/week I'm there, so I have a lot of time that I spend on KSL, Google News, and Wikipedia). And 2) one of the bosses at UCAT (also named Brian - we're good people) called while he was coming into work the other day to ask if I could get the phone number of the Utah Highway Patrol to see why the entire freeway was shut down. Come to find out, it was for Pres Bush's motorcade back to the airport. I guess we need to prevent 1/2 of Salt Lake Valley getting to work on time because the president is going to catch a private flight.
So, I was thinking about this. Being that President Bush's approval rating is worse that that for the Herp, I was wondering what kind of terrorist would want to off him at this point? I mean, he's pretty much a lame duck already. We have a few more months left with him in office. What's more . . . I think we're pretty much worse off the longer he's in office. If I were an enemy of the US, I would be praying that somehow President Bush found a way to stay in office LONGER. That would make more sense. Perhaps if someone really wanted to keep us down for the count, they could find way for Bush to run in 08 as a black woman. Maybe the people who made all those Eddie Murphy movies. Beyond that, if something were to happen to Pres Bush, we'd then have Cheney. And let's be honest. If he doesn't like a foreign power, he'll just mistake it for a duck and blast away. But next time he would likely have a nuclear weapon and not just a shotgun. (Sidebar, why is the Penguin our Vice President anyway? No wonder that Bat Signal has been MIA for some time.) Either way . . . I see that keeping Bush in office would be in the best interest of Osama or the Teletubbies at this point. Not to mention, I think that maybe Zebras would be a better idea for security on this one. Let's announce where the president is, then make him the only person on the road for miles. Looks like a pretty obvious bulls-eye to me, and I don't mean the Target variety.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
The Library Makes me Uncomfortable
So, a while back, Julie and I were in Seagull Book looking for Mother's Day presents. I was looking in the "self-help" section at various books. I like looking at what is out there, so I have possibilities to refer to my clients I work with. Well, I made a list of the books I wanted to read to expand my therapy knowledge base. I then went to the Salt Lake County Library website and placed holds on said books. I LOVE the county library system up here. Just request a book ANYWHERE in the system and they transfer it to your local library and hold it for you. It's a good thing.
So, I get an email telling me 3 of my books are ready. So, I wander to the library one day after work to get the books. Well the three that were read were 1) Confronting Pornography 2) Happiness is a Choice and 3) In Quiet Desperation: Understanding The Challenge Of Same-gender Attraction. Like I said, these seemed like good books to read to expand my theoretical framework of therapy. However, when I went to the counter with these 3 books, I started to think what this combination looks like . . . Pornography Addiction + Depression + LDS Same Sex Attraction. Wow. That's an awesome combination. I have to be honest, I felt a little shy/embarrassed at first. But, then I thought . . . I have nothing to be embarrassed of. I can read any book I want. Not to mention that I try to convince my clients that they need not be embarrassed of their imperfections/problems. So, I held my head high and look the young man straight in the eye while he checked out the books that made me look like a religious man addicted to gay porn.
It was still uncomfortable.
So, I get an email telling me 3 of my books are ready. So, I wander to the library one day after work to get the books. Well the three that were read were 1) Confronting Pornography 2) Happiness is a Choice and 3) In Quiet Desperation: Understanding The Challenge Of Same-gender Attraction. Like I said, these seemed like good books to read to expand my theoretical framework of therapy. However, when I went to the counter with these 3 books, I started to think what this combination looks like . . . Pornography Addiction + Depression + LDS Same Sex Attraction. Wow. That's an awesome combination. I have to be honest, I felt a little shy/embarrassed at first. But, then I thought . . . I have nothing to be embarrassed of. I can read any book I want. Not to mention that I try to convince my clients that they need not be embarrassed of their imperfections/problems. So, I held my head high and look the young man straight in the eye while he checked out the books that made me look like a religious man addicted to gay porn.
It was still uncomfortable.
Ongoings of the Brian
For those of you who are wondering what is going on in my life . . . I will let you know!! So, since the joys of graduation (FAKE graduation, that is . . . The U likes to dangle the thought of being done in front of me for my last semester there), life hasn't been too crazy. Hence the lack of blogs. This is my life: work, sleep, eating. That's it. I'm working PT for a company called Clinical Consultants teaching classes at the Day Reporting Center for Adult Probation and Parole. I teach the convicts such fun as substance abuse (how NOT to do it), parenting (how NOT to screw over your kids), life skills (why their lives have been less that successful), and anger management (how NOT to let your fists do the talking). Honestly, not my cup of tea. I prefer to use my therapy skills to help people who are more invested in changing - and don't think they already have the world figured out (which, if that is the case, why are you seen as a danger in society). However, I do like the job. It's just not what I'd like to to long-term full-time (but being that I still can't get my higher license yet . . . gotta do something.
After about 2 weeks of near unemployment life, I found a Full-Time work endeavor as a temp at the Utah College of Applied Technology. I'm working as the Administrative Assistant to the President. It's a pretty good gig. They like me (would probably keep me if I applied . . . but being a secretary isn't what I had in mind when I went to get my masters). The office is located at The Gateway which is a pretty nice place to work. The company "gym" is just down the hall from my desk, so it's also nice to be able to spend my lunch hour exercising. I've decided that I actually find physical exercise quite easy to do when it's A) less than 50 feet from my current location and B) doesn't require me to get up early or come home late. I also LOVE the location because just a few weeks before I started there TRAX finished the extension so there is a stop right in front of the office. This means I drive only 3 miles to the Midvale Trax Station and then ride in comfort to downtown. I've already read 3.5 Narnia books in the 3 weeks I have worked there. AND BEST OF ALL, I drive the same distance in ONE week that I was going in ONE day when I was working between the U and LDSFS in Am Fork. Being that it now costs $50+ to fill my car . . . this is an incredible bonus. I'm supposed to continue working at UCAT for another week until my classes start (the ONE week of classes June 9-13) -- but I have the feeling I might come back after that week because I don't think they have found the permanent replacement yet. I'd be OK with that. As far as temp jobs go, I couldn't ask for better. If they don't need me back, I'll go back to the UTemps service and find something on campus to work at until I officially graduate. It's all good.
Other ongoings of Brian . . . a few weeks back we had a belated graduation party at the "Big House" belonging to our friend, Kenton. I had a bunch of my school friends and some of Julie's friends up to the house where we had a bbq. It was hecka fun. Memorable moments: A) my friends reactions to the "tour" of the MASSIVE house. It's like 9000 sq. ft. with such insanity as a hydrospa hot tub with built-in DVD/Plasma TV, ginormous theatre room, and mountain top views of the Salt Lake Valley and mountains. It's right next to the new Draper LDS Temple. B) Playing Rock Band on the very large projection system in the theatre room. HECKA FUN. I think that we'll have to go up for another movie/x-box party . . . It's nice to have contacts. :P
Update on the Spider Bites . . . they've healed. No horridly hideous wounds on my arms. However, there are still faint marks left. It actually looks like "track marks" from IV drug use. So, for a while I was wearing long sleeves at my substance abuse job -- didn't want my clients to think I had fallen off the wagon. I like to think of myself as a walking anti-drug campaign (probably not a very good one, though).
After about 2 weeks of near unemployment life, I found a Full-Time work endeavor as a temp at the Utah College of Applied Technology. I'm working as the Administrative Assistant to the President. It's a pretty good gig. They like me (would probably keep me if I applied . . . but being a secretary isn't what I had in mind when I went to get my masters). The office is located at The Gateway which is a pretty nice place to work. The company "gym" is just down the hall from my desk, so it's also nice to be able to spend my lunch hour exercising. I've decided that I actually find physical exercise quite easy to do when it's A) less than 50 feet from my current location and B) doesn't require me to get up early or come home late. I also LOVE the location because just a few weeks before I started there TRAX finished the extension so there is a stop right in front of the office. This means I drive only 3 miles to the Midvale Trax Station and then ride in comfort to downtown. I've already read 3.5 Narnia books in the 3 weeks I have worked there. AND BEST OF ALL, I drive the same distance in ONE week that I was going in ONE day when I was working between the U and LDSFS in Am Fork. Being that it now costs $50+ to fill my car . . . this is an incredible bonus. I'm supposed to continue working at UCAT for another week until my classes start (the ONE week of classes June 9-13) -- but I have the feeling I might come back after that week because I don't think they have found the permanent replacement yet. I'd be OK with that. As far as temp jobs go, I couldn't ask for better. If they don't need me back, I'll go back to the UTemps service and find something on campus to work at until I officially graduate. It's all good.
Other ongoings of Brian . . . a few weeks back we had a belated graduation party at the "Big House" belonging to our friend, Kenton. I had a bunch of my school friends and some of Julie's friends up to the house where we had a bbq. It was hecka fun. Memorable moments: A) my friends reactions to the "tour" of the MASSIVE house. It's like 9000 sq. ft. with such insanity as a hydrospa hot tub with built-in DVD/Plasma TV, ginormous theatre room, and mountain top views of the Salt Lake Valley and mountains. It's right next to the new Draper LDS Temple. B) Playing Rock Band on the very large projection system in the theatre room. HECKA FUN. I think that we'll have to go up for another movie/x-box party . . . It's nice to have contacts. :P
Update on the Spider Bites . . . they've healed. No horridly hideous wounds on my arms. However, there are still faint marks left. It actually looks like "track marks" from IV drug use. So, for a while I was wearing long sleeves at my substance abuse job -- didn't want my clients to think I had fallen off the wagon. I like to think of myself as a walking anti-drug campaign (probably not a very good one, though).
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Spider Buffet
If any of you were unaware . . . I HATE SPIDERS. I just wanted to set the record straight. If I see a spider in my house - I kill it. I don't care that it is "God's creature." In fact, someday I plan on having a lengthy conversation with God as to what he was thinking when he concocted the idea of a spider. I mean, really. Julie says it's because we need them to eat other insects. I disagree. I'm pretty sure that with as smart as God is - he could find a Plan B (or even a Plan C-Z for that matter). I also disagree with Julie due to the following: I am becoming a friggin spider buffet!
Yeah, that's my arm. The red areas - bites. Lots and lots of bites. They're on the other arm too. And my leg. They hurt. A lot. Yesterday they also had a nice ring of red around each, which led me to look at "spider bites" on Google. Not a good idea. Suddenly I was afraid that my arm flesh was going to become necrotic and fester. Not a pretty picture? Imagine fearing that as the future of your appendages.
So, I'm trying to be logical. Spiders don't typically attack humans unless they feel in danger. So, I'm thinking that I must have rolled onto a spider while I was sleeping Sunday night. And then Tuesday morning I woke up with even more on the other arm and my leg. So apparently the spider keeps coming back for more. And does Julie have any spider bites? Nope. Now, I'm glad that my wife is not being eaten alive, but I have to wonder . . . WHY ME? I still hate spiders - especially those who want to overtake my bed!!
I did go to the doctor today. He's pretty sure they're spider bites. Most likely Hobo Spider. Possible Brown Recluse. I get to do the "wait and see if they get worse" game. I love waiting for serious problems. Fun for me. So, tomorrow I'm going to bug bomb the bedroom. Enjoy the last night of the Brian buffet . . . tomorrow you die!!
Yeah, that's my arm. The red areas - bites. Lots and lots of bites. They're on the other arm too. And my leg. They hurt. A lot. Yesterday they also had a nice ring of red around each, which led me to look at "spider bites" on Google. Not a good idea. Suddenly I was afraid that my arm flesh was going to become necrotic and fester. Not a pretty picture? Imagine fearing that as the future of your appendages.So, I'm trying to be logical. Spiders don't typically attack humans unless they feel in danger. So, I'm thinking that I must have rolled onto a spider while I was sleeping Sunday night. And then Tuesday morning I woke up with even more on the other arm and my leg. So apparently the spider keeps coming back for more. And does Julie have any spider bites? Nope. Now, I'm glad that my wife is not being eaten alive, but I have to wonder . . . WHY ME? I still hate spiders - especially those who want to overtake my bed!!
I did go to the doctor today. He's pretty sure they're spider bites. Most likely Hobo Spider. Possible Brown Recluse. I get to do the "wait and see if they get worse" game. I love waiting for serious problems. Fun for me. So, tomorrow I'm going to bug bomb the bedroom. Enjoy the last night of the Brian buffet . . . tomorrow you die!!
Friday, April 25, 2008
Cat for Sale
Please refer to this post on Julie's blog for the background to this story . . .
For sale, 2005 House Cat (Felis catus). Two-tone white and orange coloring with Hitler-esque trim. Upgrades include, claw-less braking and removal of internal male sex organs (these posed to be detrimental to this model). Answers to the name "Howie" (but also answers to "Retard", "Monster", and sometimes even "Tweedle Dumb" - so I don't think it matters much). Loves dry cat food, but appears to not know when to stop eating. Has an irrational fear of water (ok, maybe that's rational for a cat) but for some stupid reason won't stop splashing around in the water dish. Also loves to watch the "DVD" logo bounce around on the TV while movies are paused - and to chase the cursor on computers. Selling because he's too stupid to stop throwing water around the bathroom and knocking things over even though he's been threatened several times. Please make offer.
Cat for Sale:
For sale, 2005 House Cat (Felis catus). Two-tone white and orange coloring with Hitler-esque trim. Upgrades include, claw-less braking and removal of internal male sex organs (these posed to be detrimental to this model). Answers to the name "Howie" (but also answers to "Retard", "Monster", and sometimes even "Tweedle Dumb" - so I don't think it matters much). Loves dry cat food, but appears to not know when to stop eating. Has an irrational fear of water (ok, maybe that's rational for a cat) but for some stupid reason won't stop splashing around in the water dish. Also loves to watch the "DVD" logo bounce around on the TV while movies are paused - and to chase the cursor on computers. Selling because he's too stupid to stop throwing water around the bathroom and knocking things over even though he's been threatened several times. Please make offer.
Possible Graduation Present . . .
So, my sister-in-law (Vanessa) sent me a fun link. The item listed today was this:
Connect to your USB port, you'll use a software guided aiming system to shoot foam missiles upto 10 feet. Take back control of your office. Shipping just $5 to your home or office.
Yugster Price: $21.95
So, I would REALLY love this. Oh my, would it be incredible fun. Whoever invented this is my new hero. Seriously, it includes software that helps you aim and shoot missiles. Now, imagine even more fun of using a remote access to the computer to shoot your coworkers from home when they're not expecting it. Yeah, that would be awesome. So, if any of you are thinking graduation present . . .
Desktop Warfare - USB Missile Launcher Kit with Software Control
Connect to your USB port, you'll use a software guided aiming system to shoot foam missiles upto 10 feet. Take back control of your office. Shipping just $5 to your home or office.Yugster Price: $21.95
So, I would REALLY love this. Oh my, would it be incredible fun. Whoever invented this is my new hero. Seriously, it includes software that helps you aim and shoot missiles. Now, imagine even more fun of using a remote access to the computer to shoot your coworkers from home when they're not expecting it. Yeah, that would be awesome. So, if any of you are thinking graduation present . . .
I think Jesus taught us about hypocrisy . . .
I vaguely remember the bible teaching me about hypocrisy. Then, today while I was driving down 4th South in SLC I saw this . . .
Again, I realize the image isn't great. It's from the I-wish-I-were-a-camera Blackberry. This was a nice little Suzuki driving next to me. The small bumper sticker says "I Buy American First." Now, I'm really happy to see someone wanting to support American workers . . . but last I checked Suzuki was NOT an American car company. Yeah, Suzuki sounds pretty . . . I don' know . . . Japanese! Not that I'm against Japanese cars - I LOVE my Nissan and Mazda. But I wouldn't use them to encourage others to buy American-made products.
(And, before anyone tries to discredit me by stating that many foreign car companies now have US plants where the cars are manufactured . . . still not an American company. Nike is made in some crazy sweat shop in rural India. Now THAT's an American company!)
Again, I realize the image isn't great. It's from the I-wish-I-were-a-camera Blackberry. This was a nice little Suzuki driving next to me. The small bumper sticker says "I Buy American First." Now, I'm really happy to see someone wanting to support American workers . . . but last I checked Suzuki was NOT an American car company. Yeah, Suzuki sounds pretty . . . I don' know . . . Japanese! Not that I'm against Japanese cars - I LOVE my Nissan and Mazda. But I wouldn't use them to encourage others to buy American-made products.(And, before anyone tries to discredit me by stating that many foreign car companies now have US plants where the cars are manufactured . . . still not an American company. Nike is made in some crazy sweat shop in rural India. Now THAT's an American company!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
