Can someone help me with this one?

So . . . I've recently realized that I have a small problem that is leading to some embarrassing situations. Here's my problem . . . . I can't tell if the women I see around the world are pregnant or have learned to swallow their food whole like a snake (which is really cool - I still haven't figured out how on earth to accomplish this). Imagine the embarrassment I've felt when I asked women when they are due only to get the response - "No, I'm not pregnant, I just ate a whole bucket of KFC.") Man, this is seriously going to cause me social distress if I don't get this figured out!!