Because I don't want to do homework...

NOTICE: This blog post was written on September 6, 2010; however, Julie reserved editing and reviewing rights before publication. It's now mid-November. You can put the rest of the story together...


So, I've decided to do a blog post - and as the title states, it's a direct attempt to avoid homework. Julie is lying in bed right now (actually just waived at me), thinking I'm being productive. I'm not. She should know better. And when she either A) gets up to walk over and read what I'm typing or B) reads this after it's posted, she will give me the "you were supposed to be productive today" face. (She's also going to be irked because she's asked me to stop naming her faces "because they're usually wrong"....I told her I just need to practice more so I can be a perfect face-namer.)

What will I discuss with you today....maybe a follow up on my life since I last posted in, um, January. Let's see, what has happened since January?

Well, late 2009 I started applying to schools for a PhD in Social Work. Initially I was just going to apply to the U of Utah, because it was close and both Julie and I were benefited through the University. But, around January we decided we needed more options. So, we added the U of Georgia and the U of South Carolina to the list. Oh, and I was also in the process of applying to become an Air Force social worker (lots of eggs in different baskets) around this time as well. I guess I wanted an adventure or something. I learned that armed forces applications are REALLY long and they ask for all sorts of stuff. I seriously had to give a complete 10-year history of work/school/residence, with at least two references (not family) to verify each entry. (Side note, Julie just asked what I was doing - I responded with "blogging" and she placed her face into the pillows - I could not see if there was a face involved.) Anyway, I completed the whole application, did the physical, and the phone interview - when I was made aware that the Air Force does indeed send social workers into combat zones (to keep the soldiers fighting). Hmmmmm....people shooting at me. Not quite as great of an opportunity as initially thought. In the end, I was accepted to all three schools I applied to - and therefore told the Air Force that I was no longer interested. It turns out the board had already reviewed my file and I was a "non-admit," so it appears the separation was mutual. :D

So, I then had to make an option on school. Two of the three offered assistanceships (with tuition waivers and stipends), with Utah offering nada. Even considering the need to find renters and deal with all that, Utah was dropped off the list because it was financially better for both Julie and myself to leave our jobs and take the offers of free tuition. I eventually chose the University of Georgia because of it's higher rating and a slightly greater stipend amount. We flew out to Athens, GA in May and spent a week looking for an apartment to rent. In the end, we decided to get into a townhouse on the west side of town. (See Julie's blog for pics of our new digs).

From May to August we kept working as usual, counting the days until our exodus from Utah. Oh - and we also tore up the carpeting in the living room in the condo to find the exterior wall near the landing was leaking into our living room, which was then several months before the HOA finally got things in waterproof form (again, more on Julie's blog). It sufficeth to say that we were living in a hodge podge of semi-construction for several months and our spare bedroom was lovingly referred to as "furniture Tetris." About three weeks before our move, we finally got the walls patched, painted, the wood laminate flooring installed, and enjoyed a lovely condo for a short time before the packing chaos hit full swing.

Packing? I HATE PACKING!!! Honestly, where did we get so much stuff? There's only two of us!! I did the little online calculator which told me we should be able to fit our belongings into a 16' truck. So, just to make sure we would be good to go, we got a 22' truck. And on July 31, 2010, we filled it to the absolute max. Seriously. Again, it was furniture Tetris, with our dresser being stacked upside down on the cedar chest. We did a white-trash version of a stacking laundry set, placing the dryer upside down on the washer and tying them steady. In the end, we left an entertainment center (which we didn't want anymore anyway) and a standing lamp in West Jordan. Let's just say that the packing/loading part of the program was not as smooth as I initially planned.

THE MOVE
We spent our last night in Utah at my parent's house in Lake Shore. We woke in the morning and said good-bye to my parents and Julie's brother and younger sister. Fortunately, we were able to fit in time for blessing from dad, which was of great comfort. We also got to say goodbye to Braxton as he was spending the night. He was, however, being a stinker the next day and refused to let us take any pictures with him. We got our suitcases and roadtrip essentials packed into the moving truck and my Altima (Julie's mom leaving in the Mazda several days earlier to go to Minnesota to see her sister with the plan to reconnect in Missouri). Thankfully, Julie's older sister, Vanessa, agreed to be a part of the moving adventures and gave her services in driving the Altima.

The first day we got as far as Laramie, WY, where we spent the night with some friends of Vanessa, the Rimmasch Family. Unfortunately, we got out of Spanish Fork late, so we didn't get into Laramie until near midnight. Overall, that stretch was fairly non-eventful - but I learned that moving trucks don't like going up mountain passes.

The second day led us to Lincoln, NE. This was probably the most boring of all days ever. I now have an immense hatred for all things Nebraska. Really - it was just hour after hour after hour of driving in the same repeating scenery. And that state is LONG. The only interesting thing was that we stopped for lunch across the street from the Cabela's world headquarters. But, other than that I could have shot myself. At least Julie and Vanessa were in a car together for some kind of interaction. Spending that much time alone in a moving truck is not something I'd recommend to anyone else.

The third day we did a "short day" to Liberty, MO. Being that it was our fifth wedding anniversary, Julie decided to ride in the truck with me. I know, how romantic. We got to see the tail end of Nebraska (good riddance) and maybe 10 minutes of Iowa before entering Missouri. We stopped at some family friends of Julie's family (Mike Crim and his crew) and spent the afternoon enjoying human interaction and stable ground. Oh, I did learn that hilly roads in Liberty are quite fun in a moving truck (and also a way to freak Julie out). Cindy met up with us in Liberty, and we went to dinner with the Crims. It really was a great evening. Until Gwen (our 13-something Persian cat) turned into the ultimate buzz-kill. Let's just say she had what can only be described as the oddest reaction to carsickness I never expected to experience. (If you're really curious, Google rectal prolapse, but not immediately before or after eating.) This inevitably led to a mildly-hysterical Julie asking Mike (who is a people doctor, not a cat doctor) for medical advice. Mike got us connected with a local vet with an after-hours emergency line. That night I learned some interesting facts while helping the vet sedate Gwen and get her innerds put back inside. 1) Cats have really small veins, making it really difficult to put in an IV. 2) Some cats respond with an instant jerk and "flee-for-life" response when the Ketamine hits the system. 3) Even without front claws, Gwen is dangerous and can draw sufficient blood when met with the soft skin of a forearm. 4) Gwen does not like the mask used to administer nitrous oxide. 5) While finally succumbing to said nitrous oxide, cats will often growl with each breath (which is quite comical when observed). 5) Also, as they fall deeper in sleep - the tongue protrudes. Gwen has a freakishly long tongue!!! 6) Vet offices are not romantic ways to end an anniversary. Stupid Gwen.

We again got a late start on the fourth day - mostly because it was after 1 am before Julie and returned from our adventures with the vet the night before. Due to our love of all things unhealthy, Julie and I were jonesing for some butter burgers from Culver's. We thought we'd trust the GPS to find one somewhat along our route -- which ended up taking us through downtown Kansas City, MO, on some streets obviously not designed for the truck I was driving. Retrospectively a bad idea. But, man, I love me some butter burger. I'm sad the closest one to us currently is in Tennessee. We drove to Paducah, KY this day, passing through Missouri and Illinois. I decided southern Illinois is really pretty at sunset.

Finally, we had reached our last driving day. We left Paducah, KY, and started our trek. Tennessee, you provided me with some truly beautiful scenery for the drive. This made driving alone somewhat more bearable. I think I'll need to go back someday and check out Chattanooga when I have time. However, once we crossed the line from Tennessee into Georgia, all hell broke lose. I'm sorry great people of Georgia, but you cannot drive. And that includes the homicidal truck drivers. From Utah to the Georgia state line we had effectively traveled in a convoy with the two cars following the truck. But, we quickly realized it was every man for himself on the Georgia highways and decided to break up (after some nasty close calls) and then reconvene in Atlanta. Oh, and then it started raining - and I mean RAINING. Like so hard the wipers couldn't keep up and nobody knew where the lines were anymore. I pretty much got to the right, put on my hazards, and prayed that I wouldn't die. Fortunately, we all made it to the Atlanta area where we met back up and had dinner. Julie and Vanessa split from me (being they were safer farther away from the bigger trucks I had to follow), again to meet in Athens. We all made it into Athens, GA, a little after midnight and got settled into the hotel for the night.

The next morning, Julie and I were getting ready to go into the property management company to sign the lease when Gwen again made an attempt to be the sole focus of attention. She decided to start throwing up all over herself (fortunately, no re-occurrence of her Missouri adventures). So, she got to meet the vet in Athens before we could even unpack! We ended up just taking all the animals to the vet for day boarding while we dealt with moving in details. When we got to the property management company, we were informed they were cleaning the carpets that day; therefore, we couldn't move in until after 3 pm. I still don't know why they waited until that day to clean the carpets, being I had spoken with them several times in the preceding weeks to verify we could move in on that day. In the end, it turned out to be for the best because the only person I had to help me was an old BYU roommate, who was at work until 3 pm.

In the end, all of our stuff was able to make it into our new home and I was able to say goodbye to that cursed rental truck forever (no tears were shed). Only a few of our items were damaged in the 2000 mile adventure, so that was pretty good.

This is how I feel lately....

So, this picture is a bit odd - and silly. Julie just sent it to me, and I've decided it about sums up how I've been feeling lately. Being in a PhD program is like suddenly being in a completely different world. And I'm not quite sure I understand what is going on all the time. Quite often, it's like people are speaking foreign languages. And there I am - a crazy Utahan trying to blend in. It doesn't help that I wear t-shirts like this to class...

On a side note, I've recently discovered the hilarious blog, hyperboleandahalf - VERY FUNNY. She's created a picture that I've taken to be my new personal motto:


UPDATE:

I have been informed that I must give props to Corin of Corinner-Elly for introducing me to Hyperbole and a Half. So, there, Corin. You have your props. To the other 2 readers of my blog - feel free to venture over to the world of Corinner-Elly for some more funnies.

My New Vocation

Ya know, after 6 years of college and all that time I spent to become a social worker, I decided to change jobs to something a little more suited for my personality. I think I'll go work for this company:

For more Engrish fun, check out Engrish and Engrish Funny.

Yeah, I think "monkey changer" is an appropriate use of my talents. I'd have to say I'm a perfect fit!!!