Spider Buffet

If any of you were unaware . . . I HATE SPIDERS. I just wanted to set the record straight. If I see a spider in my house - I kill it. I don't care that it is "God's creature." In fact, someday I plan on having a lengthy conversation with God as to what he was thinking when he concocted the idea of a spider. I mean, really. Julie says it's because we need them to eat other insects. I disagree. I'm pretty sure that with as smart as God is - he could find a Plan B (or even a Plan C-Z for that matter). I also disagree with Julie due to the following: I am becoming a friggin spider buffet!
Yeah, that's my arm. The red areas - bites. Lots and lots of bites. They're on the other arm too. And my leg. They hurt. A lot. Yesterday they also had a nice ring of red around each, which led me to look at "spider bites" on Google. Not a good idea. Suddenly I was afraid that my arm flesh was going to become necrotic and fester. Not a pretty picture? Imagine fearing that as the future of your appendages.

So, I'm trying to be logical. Spiders don't typically attack humans unless they feel in danger. So, I'm thinking that I must have rolled onto a spider while I was sleeping Sunday night. And then Tuesday morning I woke up with even more on the other arm and my leg. So apparently the spider keeps coming back for more. And does Julie have any spider bites? Nope. Now, I'm glad that my wife is not being eaten alive, but I have to wonder . . . WHY ME? I still hate spiders - especially those who want to overtake my bed!!

I did go to the doctor today. He's pretty sure they're spider bites. Most likely Hobo Spider. Possible Brown Recluse. I get to do the "wait and see if they get worse" game. I love waiting for serious problems. Fun for me. So, tomorrow I'm going to bug bomb the bedroom. Enjoy the last night of the Brian buffet . . . tomorrow you die!!