My New Vocation

Ya know, after 6 years of college and all that time I spent to become a social worker, I decided to change jobs to something a little more suited for my personality. I think I'll go work for this company:

For more Engrish fun, check out Engrish and Engrish Funny.

Yeah, I think "monkey changer" is an appropriate use of my talents. I'd have to say I'm a perfect fit!!!

IT IS FINISHED

After months of stressing (and unfortunately procrastinating) my PhD application to the University of Utah is COMPLETE!!! DONE!!! NO MORE!!! It's such a relief to have everything turned in before the deadline (I had a whole week left). I almost don't know what to do with my time now, being that this has been weighing on my mind for a while now. But, it's done now -- and I move onto the waiting game. I have NO idea when he decision will be made, but it's out of my hands now.

I've lost faith in polls. 3 whole responses on my cell phone poll. That answers my question of how many people read my blog!! It's okay, because I ended up choosing the 2nd place according to the poll. As fun as the Hero looked, I went for the physical keyboard on the Moment. We ordered our phones yesterday -- so they'll hopefully arrive this weekend (or early next week). It's good to have that done too, so I can stop obsessing. :D

EVERYONE WATCH "COMMUNITY"

HANDS OFF MY PEANUTS!!

So, Carsmart has some odd commercials here in Utah. Recently, they're doing this whole "find an antiquated law that is stupid and juxtapose that with how smart it is to buy from us" shctick. Well, the one playing currently reviews the law in Lee County prohibiting the sale of peanuts after sundown on Wednesday. So, at the end of the ad it has a recap: "Remember, selling peanuts after dark is illegal . . ." The only problem is that Mr. Announcer-Mann has forgotten the importance of enunciating the T in "peanuts." The effect sounds more like "peanus." This now sounds like something only boys have - and not a circus treat (unless, of coarse, you are attending Britney Spears' Circus tour -- but that's a WHOLE other subject). So, as I listen to the commercial, I wonder . . . when is a good time to be selling "peanus?"

Why I Couldn't Sleep Last Night

So . . . yesterday was an interesting day. After church (while Julie was playing with her visiting teachers), I was looking online at new cell phones. I have decided I want a new phone - and I want a snazzy smartphone. After see how much AT&T charges for data plans (per phone line) -- not to mention they now FORCE anyone with a smartphone to get a data plan (stupid AT&T), I found that for less money I can get more stuff through Sprint. (Sidebar -- if you are a Sprint hater, or avid AT&T lover, or have some odd undying love for any phone carrier . . . I don't care. Let's be honest, all of the major companies have HUGE downsides between customer service, cost, coverage, etc. I'll miss my rollover, but it's just too much to add data for our current family plan). Anyhoo . . . how this relates to yesterday. As I was saying, I was looking at phones to decide what I wanted. While doing this, I noticed I was "missing" parts of the text and realized this as a vision problem I get just prior to a migraine. So, I laid down for a while and let my eyes rest. I felt a little better, so we went down to "the Fork" to visit our families. The migraine returned with a vengeance during our trip down - but luckily Julie had some ibuprofen and migraine meds that I was able to take and then lay down for a while.

Ok, so how this relates to the title of this article is coming up. When I went to bed I took some Excedrin PM to make sure I could sleep and kill what little headache remained. Well, I fell asleep well, and then POW - midnight comes and I'm wide awake. Still exhausted, but wide awake. The really fun part was that just as I would start falling asleep again, my mind would turn into hyperdrive trying to figure out the cell phone dilemma. Yes, for some reason my sub-conscious decided midnight was THE time for a final answer. Each time I'd get it to shut up and start falling asleep again . . . CELL PHONES. WHAT . . . . THE . . . . CRAP!?!?! It's not like I was having to make an immediate decision -- or even a decision within a month. But, for some reason my mind really wanted to know what phone I'm buying. Damn brain.

(Sidenote, Julie just IM'ed me to say Gary Busey just knocked up his girlfriend and "shouldn't be allowed to reproduce." For those of you who might remember Gary Busey from "Celebrity Rehab," I would have to agree -- and wonder the mental facilities of a woman who is dating him.)

So, to make my mind SOMEWHAT at ease, I'm going to enlist all 3 of my readers to help me decide what phone to buy. Here's the requirements - smartphone, touchscreen, and Sprint. I'll give you my top choices so far to chose from, but if you feel I missed a winner, let me know (and yes, if Sprint offered the iPhone there would be no contest (but, again, I just can't swallow how much AT&T charges for data plans). HTC HERO - SAMSUNG MOMENT - PALM PRE

I am SUCH a geek!!

I know, I'm a geek. I know this because I am practically jumping up and down about the following picture . . .


What is so exciting about this?? The 4 GB of RAM in my new iMac!!! First, I'm more than ecstatic at the fact Julie and I bought a new iMac (well, let's be honest, Julie let me get an iMac). I mean, that's like every single holiday present for the year rolled into one. And then to boot she let me order some RAM to max it out. Giddy. There is no other word for how I feel. I just wish I had this baby at work (my retarded PC there only has 500 mb of ram - I hate it). For those of you who are not yet converted to the beauty of the iMac . . . you're missing out.

Other new items in the life of Brian & Julie . . . our 2nd bedroom again looks like a BEDROOM and not just a hodgepodge of storeage craziness. Thanks to the joys of Ikea, our spare room now has ample storage space - that is hidden behind doors. So, yeah, it takes up a bit of the space in the already small bedroom . . . but now when you look in the first thought is "bedroom." Now, if only we could get some help making it look like nursery (hint hint, God). I mean, the iMac lives in the spare room too, so obviously any baby we would have would be the luckiest baby of all.

Other than that, nothing exciting/new going on. Julie has again changed jobs and is now the Operations Officer at the Utah College of Applied Technology. While she loved her work at the law office, this opportunity came up and offered us a significant pay increase, so how could you say no? We're very fortunate that we are both making healthy salaries with benefits at this time of recession. Very blessed. I'm still assessing the addicts and moving them along to treatment. I have a LOT of crazy stories . . . but due to federal confidentiality regulations they're for my brain only. Rest assured, though, drug use makes for some CRAZY stuff. Wow. I mean, really. Wow.

Well, eventually I will try to post some more. We need to take pics of the spare room to PROVE that it looked this good. I'll post funnies soon, promise!

Why I Love Julie . . .

So, I'm funny. Yeah, I'm not trying to be boastful - it's just the way God made me. Funny. When I was born, the doctor said, "Well, that's a damn funny baby" - and then tried to bury me in a cigar box because I would make the "tragically-born-without-a-sense-of-humor children" look bad. Yeah, I'm that good.

But then there is Julie. She's also funny. But a slightly different funny. Not the "I-think-we-may-need-to-lock-you-up-or-put-you-on-some-serious-psychotropic-medications funny" like me, but the more subtle and "Why-are-people-so-stupid funny."

For example: We listen to 101.9 The End in the morning while getting ready. Well, one of their oft repeated commercials is for cosmetic surgery (well, big fake boobs to be exact). The commercial goes on how self esteem can really effect (or is it affect . . . well, in the psychological sense, affect is a person's outward emotional state - so that just makes me more confused . . . let's try a/effect) a person's outlook and happiness (or positive affect). Yes, I agree with this. It's good to feel good about oneself. We should all try to feel good about ourselves (give yourself a hug right now - then try to chew on your elbow . . . come on, do it! I'm a PROFESSIONAL, trust me . . . ). So, then the commercial takes a twist (wait, am I still talking about a commercial here? For those of you that are still on track with me, give yourself a gold star, then contact a qualified professional for psychological evaluation). Yes, the twist. Self esteem good . . . blah blah blah . . . and now women are talking about how big fake boobs make them feel good about themselves and life is all wonderful and peach fuzz now. Yes, there is a correlation between big boobs and happiness. Worked for Anna Nicole Smith and the "dead behind the eyes" girlfriends of good ole' Hef. So, my mind is working on how terrible this message is . Yes, buy into society's problematic views rather than finding inner worth.

Julie's response . . . There is one "testimonial" that says: "Just because I wasn't born with great breasts doesn't meant I can't have them now."
Julie: "Think about it."
Me: "Yeah, so what."
Julie: "When was the last time you saw a newborn with fully developed breasts?"
Here is where I fall down laughing with the image of a new born with double D's in a cocktail dress. Now I giggle every time I hear this commercial.

Now some randomness for you, then I go back to work . . .