Spider Buffet

If any of you were unaware . . . I HATE SPIDERS. I just wanted to set the record straight. If I see a spider in my house - I kill it. I don't care that it is "God's creature." In fact, someday I plan on having a lengthy conversation with God as to what he was thinking when he concocted the idea of a spider. I mean, really. Julie says it's because we need them to eat other insects. I disagree. I'm pretty sure that with as smart as God is - he could find a Plan B (or even a Plan C-Z for that matter). I also disagree with Julie due to the following: I am becoming a friggin spider buffet!
Yeah, that's my arm. The red areas - bites. Lots and lots of bites. They're on the other arm too. And my leg. They hurt. A lot. Yesterday they also had a nice ring of red around each, which led me to look at "spider bites" on Google. Not a good idea. Suddenly I was afraid that my arm flesh was going to become necrotic and fester. Not a pretty picture? Imagine fearing that as the future of your appendages.

So, I'm trying to be logical. Spiders don't typically attack humans unless they feel in danger. So, I'm thinking that I must have rolled onto a spider while I was sleeping Sunday night. And then Tuesday morning I woke up with even more on the other arm and my leg. So apparently the spider keeps coming back for more. And does Julie have any spider bites? Nope. Now, I'm glad that my wife is not being eaten alive, but I have to wonder . . . WHY ME? I still hate spiders - especially those who want to overtake my bed!!

I did go to the doctor today. He's pretty sure they're spider bites. Most likely Hobo Spider. Possible Brown Recluse. I get to do the "wait and see if they get worse" game. I love waiting for serious problems. Fun for me. So, tomorrow I'm going to bug bomb the bedroom. Enjoy the last night of the Brian buffet . . . tomorrow you die!!

Cat for Sale

Please refer to this post on Julie's blog for the background to this story . . .

Cat for Sale:

For sale, 2005 House Cat (Felis catus). Two-tone white and orange coloring with Hitler-esque trim. Upgrades include, claw-less braking and removal of internal male sex organs (these posed to be detrimental to this model). Answers to the name "Howie" (but also answers to "Retard", "Monster", and sometimes even "Tweedle Dumb" - so I don't think it matters much). Loves dry cat food, but appears to not know when to stop eating. Has an irrational fear of water (ok, maybe that's rational for a cat) but for some stupid reason won't stop splashing around in the water dish. Also loves to watch the "DVD" logo bounce around on the TV while movies are paused - and to chase the cursor on computers. Selling because he's too stupid to stop throwing water around the bathroom and knocking things over even though he's been threatened several times. Please make offer.

Possible Graduation Present . . .

So, my sister-in-law (Vanessa) sent me a fun link. The item listed today was this:

Desktop Warfare - USB Missile Launcher Kit with Software Control

Connect to your USB port, you'll use a software guided aiming system to shoot foam missiles upto 10 feet. Take back control of your office. Shipping just $5 to your home or office.
Yugster Price: $21.95

So, I would REALLY love this. Oh my, would it be incredible fun. Whoever invented this is my new hero. Seriously, it includes software that helps you aim and shoot missiles. Now, imagine even more fun of using a remote access to the computer to shoot your coworkers from home when they're not expecting it. Yeah, that would be awesome. So, if any of you are thinking graduation present . . .

I think Jesus taught us about hypocrisy . . .

I vaguely remember the bible teaching me about hypocrisy. Then, today while I was driving down 4th South in SLC I saw this . . .

Again, I realize the image isn't great. It's from the I-wish-I-were-a-camera Blackberry. This was a nice little Suzuki driving next to me. The small bumper sticker says "I Buy American First." Now, I'm really happy to see someone wanting to support American workers . . . but last I checked Suzuki was NOT an American car company. Yeah, Suzuki sounds pretty . . . I don' know . . . Japanese! Not that I'm against Japanese cars - I LOVE my Nissan and Mazda. But I wouldn't use them to encourage others to buy American-made products.

(And, before anyone tries to discredit me by stating that many foreign car companies now have US plants where the cars are manufactured . . . still not an American company. Nike is made in some crazy sweat shop in rural India. Now THAT's an American company!)

Ben Folds is AMAZING live!!

So, Julie and I went to the Ben Folds concert last night. It rocked! He's really good live. He did some interesting things - like putting stuff (tins, etc) ON the piano strings. It was cool. Did NOT enjoy the venue (SaltAir - I hate that place) and of coarse there were stupid people around. Utah concerts . . . We got to see the compassion of Utah drivers as nobody was letting people merge in order to clear out the parking lot. Boo.

We made it in time for one opener. He was ok. After a few songs, though - they all sounded the same. He did some funny stuff, though. He was having technical difficulties with his guitar during the first song, so he just held it up to the mic to catch the sound. However, he still needed to sing into the same mic - so he was trying to get his mouth and the guitar strings as close to the mic as possible. The result - looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame playing a guitar. Pretty amusing. He also sang a little tune about having a music video with Tiffany Amber Thiessen and getting to kiss her 5 times cause he is a lucky (well, I won't repeat his potty mouth . . . you can imagine). He kept pronouncing her last name as "Tea-sin" cause he's Brittish or retarded (I get those two confused). And, he did a "completely pointless instrumental solo" which is when "the band engages in something completely pointless for their own enjoyment." He pretty much ran the mic across the guitar strings and plucked at it with his teeth - sounded horrible but entertaining.

Yeah, so that was our concert experience. Ben Folds ROCKED. He can tickle those ivory very good! It is simply amazing to watch his hands literally FLY over the keyboard. I've never seen anything like it. His hands/fingers were just a blur - no kidding!! But Julie and I are starting to think that we're getting old. All the other concert goers just annoy us. However, it is worse at UT concerts than concerts out of state. Maybe that's a good reason to move . . .

Another fine example from TRAX

So, this is from a few months ago - but I JUST remembered to post it!!

It's kinda hard to make out cause 1) I took it with my BlackBerry (not an actual camera, but a phone with multiple personality disorder) 2) I was sitting IN the train, taking a picture of this being outside . . . hence the odd glare of the hand that belonged to the guy sitting across from me and 3) I was trying to be somewhat sly in the taking of this pic. SO, let me tell you what I saw. This older guy with ghetto long hair, crazy child-molester mustache, black large hat, and long, black, leather trench coat. My thoughts of this creature I spotted in the wild . . . Old-school Western Character + Grim Reaper + Pimp. Yeah, this is what happens when you mix one too many styles into your look. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

Settle Down, Y'all - This is IMPORTANT!

Here ye, here ye . . .

I'M GRADUATING!!


Yes, that is ME on my way to my Masters!! WAHOO! If only I didn't have summer semester to finish . . . Ya see, being in the 1 year program means that I still have 5 credits to finish during the summer (which I'm conveniently doing over one week in June) and then I technically get my degree in Aug. But the U only has ONE graduation ceremony each yeah - so here we have it. Wah-freakin-hoo! You may now shower me with riches and fine presents. :D

I'm in the process of finishing my LAST assignment of this semester. I'm slacking cause I really don't want to do it. But I will have it done before it's due on Friday. Probably will get it done tomorrow while I'm HOME all day - cause I don't have classes, internship, etc. Weee.

Yesterday was my LAST day at LDS Family Services (are we seeing a pattern here . . . LAST). Bittersweet. It's great to know I'm done and be able to move on (LDSFS wasn't really a good "home" for me) - but I will miss the clients I was working with. Several were none too happy that I was leaving - but that's the name of the game. I'm sure that the other therapists there can help them out.

So, now that I'm done with classes and internship (and SO close to being done with assignments) for a while I just want to GO CRAZY and have fun! And since I only have ONE WEEK of summer classes - I'm considering myself done for all intents and purposes. :P I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done!!

Randomness of today -- while Julie and I went to get food on her lunch break (we went to Wienerschnitzel cause I wanted a hot dog (because apparently the one I at at Sam's Club just 20 minutes earlier wasn't enough). No, my current obsession with mystery meat in a bun (yes, please try to dissuade me by telling me what or how it's made -- I'll still eat it! For heaven sakes, I ate dog knowingly!!) is NOT the randomness of the day (although enjoyable). The randomness is that I saw a 1st generation Altima with FLAMES on it. However, the flames were BACKWARDS. So, it makes me wonder . . . does the car so super fast in reverse, or is the owner just unstable. The mental health professional in me is siding with the latter.