Make Your Own Conclusion

I saw this picture on Poorly Dressed today.
My mind thought of this:
What do you think it means?

(Side note - when Googleing for a pic of Glenn Beck, I found a shirt that reads: "I think, Therefore I am Not Glenn Beck." I want this shirt.)

SNOWPOCALYPSE!!!

I have survived a Snowpocalypse. For real. This isn't the snowpocalypse-that-never-was in Utah. This was southern-style fine-Georgia style snowpocalypse. Chaos.

When we decided to move to Georgia, one of the great highlights (in our head) was the lack of Utah-style winter (aka more snow than you can shake a twig at - because we all know that snow responds to shaking twigs). Yes, we will take the murderous humidity for the hope of dry roads and no window scraping during winter. (Side note, when I did a Google image search for "murderous humidity," this was one of the first page results. What the Google???) We were warned by the locals that it does snow in Georgia, "maybe twice a year." We were also warned that snow can shut down the place. We assumed that this was due to two simple facts. 1) Georgians are the WORST DRIVERS EVER. I know, as a former Utahan driver, I should be complaining about Utahan drivers. But, they're awesome compared to Georgians behind the wheel. I'm not kidding. Even my native Georgian friends agree they feel like their lives are at risk anytime they get in a motorcar. 2) Due to the relative lack of snow, Georgia doesn't invest in snowplows or other snow removal technology. So, put INSANE drivers on a slipper surface and we have DEATH. So, we thought - we're from Utah. We can handle a little snow.

Our first "true" snow in Georgia happened on Christmas 2010. Everyone was crazy excited because this was the first time in over 100 years that Georgia had a white Christmas. Overrated - I prefer a tropical Christmas. The snow actually stuck to the ground overnight, which meant our church was canceled the next morning. (Remember: Crazy Georgia drivers+slippery surfaces=DEATH). We didn't mind the day off of church. (We're lazy Mormons.) The snow disappeared by the evening of December 26th.

This is the snow on Christmas Day. In total, we were maybe pushing an inch. Oooooo-scary.

So, we had weathered the big bad snow in Georgia. Even if we had needed to go out, I'm sure that my experiences of driving on unplowed roads in Lake Shore would have kept me alive. Whatev.

We enjoyed temperatures into the mid-50s over the next week or two (which was nice since Julie's dad visited us the last week of December). Yes, I was LOVING this southern winter. Taking the dog out in a t-shirt in the beginning of January - my kind of winter. However, our happiness was short lived.

We started getting warnings of a severe winter storm heading for the Atlanta area by January 6th. This time, worse than our little dusting on Christmas day. They were talking INCHES of snow. Of coarse, all of civilization went to pot and people were foretelling the return of Baby Jesus. Martial law was instigated and people were rioting in the streets and burning effigies of Santa Claus and Jack Frost. Okay, maybe not quite that chaotic, but people were all a buzz and local grocery stores were overrun with people trying to prepare. We heard that Home Depot sold out of generators and some grocery stores were running out of basic staples like milk, eggs, bread, etc. We actually went to the store for a few regular items that weekend, and the store clerk commented on how we were the only people she had seen that appeared to be doing regular shopping and not in panic mode. What can I say - we're from Utah. Snow doesn't scare us - and we have food storage. Silly Mormons.

The world as we know it came to an end on January 9th, 2011. That night all living creatures were demolished by a powdery white substance from the sky. SNOW. (Okay, maybe not all living creatures were demolished - I guess snow isn't as strong as an asteroid or humans are stronger than dinosaurs.) Thus was the beginning of the end. By the evening of January 9th, we had this:
We woke up on the 10th to find this:
Being the inquisitive Brian I am (coupled with the fact that Googling "Snow totals in Athens GA" yielded no useful results), I ventured out into the snow with my trusty ruler.
I plunged my ruler into the snow on my front lawn. About 6.5" inches of pure death was covering everything. (As for why my only ruler is purple and plastic - that's a mystery that we may never fully understand.) I don't know if this is how the news stations get their "totals," but I'm running with it and pronouncing it OFFICIAL.

Kronk had previously experience snow in Utah - and actually enjoyed it. Fortunately, he seemed to remember what snow was and didn't give us too much grief to go outside.
It's a good thing he's not pure white or we may have lost him. I also discovered that due to "freezing rain" and a small amount of melt/refreezing, after the first day all snow gets a hard shell - like M&Ms, but not as fun to eat. Kronk, however, is light enough to walk on said layer of ice. Sure, not as exciting as walking on actual water - but you draw your own conclusions.

With an official 6.5" of snow and no snowplows in the state (citation needed), UGA canceled classes on January 10th (ironically, the first day back from winter break). This was expected. Then they canceled classes on January 11th. Given that news reports were expecting freezing rain to fall on top of the snow (which was still over all the roads), this was again expected. Then they canceled classes on January 12th. And then they called for a "delayed opening" on January 13th and 14th (opening at 11 am instead of 8 am). Even though I have a class scheduled for tonight, the teacher decided to cancel it because several students come from several cities away and class doesn't end until 8 pm - meaning that any snow that melts today will add to the ice rinks that we call roads. So, we had ONE storm on Sunday night/Monday morning that left us with SIX INCHES. That one storm basically closed everything for OVER THREE DAYS. We didn't even have our MAIL delivered for two days (apparently "Come rain, come snow, come hail or sleet, the postman always delivers" doesn't apply here). I also heard that even Wal-Mart shut down for a period of time. We have not left our house since SUNDAY (it's currently Thursday). Fortunately we have not experienced any power outages (which is good because our only heat is an electric heat pump). Additionally, we are very happy for Netflix streaming and Hulu.

In the end, we have learned several things. 1) Snow really does shut down the south. 2) Kronk remembers snow. 3) The weather Gods hate me and are solely focused on my destruction - mentally and physically. 4) Gerogians cannot drive and should not even think of attempting this on snow. I actually read this on CNN: "The Georgia Department of Transportation warned that "no one should be driving north of Macon" (which is in the middle of the state). 5) Don't complain about snowplows coming late in Utah - at least they exist. 6) One snow day is fun. Two is intriguing. Four to five lead to insanity.

My Secret

I saw this on PostSecret and while I did not create the post card, I find it shocking that there is someone else in the world who thinks like I do.


This is how much I truly hate bills. I may start playing the lottery weekly - it's likely my only real hope to ever become wealthy. :D

Because I don't want to do homework...

NOTICE: This blog post was written on September 6, 2010; however, Julie reserved editing and reviewing rights before publication. It's now mid-November. You can put the rest of the story together...


So, I've decided to do a blog post - and as the title states, it's a direct attempt to avoid homework. Julie is lying in bed right now (actually just waived at me), thinking I'm being productive. I'm not. She should know better. And when she either A) gets up to walk over and read what I'm typing or B) reads this after it's posted, she will give me the "you were supposed to be productive today" face. (She's also going to be irked because she's asked me to stop naming her faces "because they're usually wrong"....I told her I just need to practice more so I can be a perfect face-namer.)

What will I discuss with you today....maybe a follow up on my life since I last posted in, um, January. Let's see, what has happened since January?

Well, late 2009 I started applying to schools for a PhD in Social Work. Initially I was just going to apply to the U of Utah, because it was close and both Julie and I were benefited through the University. But, around January we decided we needed more options. So, we added the U of Georgia and the U of South Carolina to the list. Oh, and I was also in the process of applying to become an Air Force social worker (lots of eggs in different baskets) around this time as well. I guess I wanted an adventure or something. I learned that armed forces applications are REALLY long and they ask for all sorts of stuff. I seriously had to give a complete 10-year history of work/school/residence, with at least two references (not family) to verify each entry. (Side note, Julie just asked what I was doing - I responded with "blogging" and she placed her face into the pillows - I could not see if there was a face involved.) Anyway, I completed the whole application, did the physical, and the phone interview - when I was made aware that the Air Force does indeed send social workers into combat zones (to keep the soldiers fighting). Hmmmmm....people shooting at me. Not quite as great of an opportunity as initially thought. In the end, I was accepted to all three schools I applied to - and therefore told the Air Force that I was no longer interested. It turns out the board had already reviewed my file and I was a "non-admit," so it appears the separation was mutual. :D

So, I then had to make an option on school. Two of the three offered assistanceships (with tuition waivers and stipends), with Utah offering nada. Even considering the need to find renters and deal with all that, Utah was dropped off the list because it was financially better for both Julie and myself to leave our jobs and take the offers of free tuition. I eventually chose the University of Georgia because of it's higher rating and a slightly greater stipend amount. We flew out to Athens, GA in May and spent a week looking for an apartment to rent. In the end, we decided to get into a townhouse on the west side of town. (See Julie's blog for pics of our new digs).

From May to August we kept working as usual, counting the days until our exodus from Utah. Oh - and we also tore up the carpeting in the living room in the condo to find the exterior wall near the landing was leaking into our living room, which was then several months before the HOA finally got things in waterproof form (again, more on Julie's blog). It sufficeth to say that we were living in a hodge podge of semi-construction for several months and our spare bedroom was lovingly referred to as "furniture Tetris." About three weeks before our move, we finally got the walls patched, painted, the wood laminate flooring installed, and enjoyed a lovely condo for a short time before the packing chaos hit full swing.

Packing? I HATE PACKING!!! Honestly, where did we get so much stuff? There's only two of us!! I did the little online calculator which told me we should be able to fit our belongings into a 16' truck. So, just to make sure we would be good to go, we got a 22' truck. And on July 31, 2010, we filled it to the absolute max. Seriously. Again, it was furniture Tetris, with our dresser being stacked upside down on the cedar chest. We did a white-trash version of a stacking laundry set, placing the dryer upside down on the washer and tying them steady. In the end, we left an entertainment center (which we didn't want anymore anyway) and a standing lamp in West Jordan. Let's just say that the packing/loading part of the program was not as smooth as I initially planned.

THE MOVE
We spent our last night in Utah at my parent's house in Lake Shore. We woke in the morning and said good-bye to my parents and Julie's brother and younger sister. Fortunately, we were able to fit in time for blessing from dad, which was of great comfort. We also got to say goodbye to Braxton as he was spending the night. He was, however, being a stinker the next day and refused to let us take any pictures with him. We got our suitcases and roadtrip essentials packed into the moving truck and my Altima (Julie's mom leaving in the Mazda several days earlier to go to Minnesota to see her sister with the plan to reconnect in Missouri). Thankfully, Julie's older sister, Vanessa, agreed to be a part of the moving adventures and gave her services in driving the Altima.

The first day we got as far as Laramie, WY, where we spent the night with some friends of Vanessa, the Rimmasch Family. Unfortunately, we got out of Spanish Fork late, so we didn't get into Laramie until near midnight. Overall, that stretch was fairly non-eventful - but I learned that moving trucks don't like going up mountain passes.

The second day led us to Lincoln, NE. This was probably the most boring of all days ever. I now have an immense hatred for all things Nebraska. Really - it was just hour after hour after hour of driving in the same repeating scenery. And that state is LONG. The only interesting thing was that we stopped for lunch across the street from the Cabela's world headquarters. But, other than that I could have shot myself. At least Julie and Vanessa were in a car together for some kind of interaction. Spending that much time alone in a moving truck is not something I'd recommend to anyone else.

The third day we did a "short day" to Liberty, MO. Being that it was our fifth wedding anniversary, Julie decided to ride in the truck with me. I know, how romantic. We got to see the tail end of Nebraska (good riddance) and maybe 10 minutes of Iowa before entering Missouri. We stopped at some family friends of Julie's family (Mike Crim and his crew) and spent the afternoon enjoying human interaction and stable ground. Oh, I did learn that hilly roads in Liberty are quite fun in a moving truck (and also a way to freak Julie out). Cindy met up with us in Liberty, and we went to dinner with the Crims. It really was a great evening. Until Gwen (our 13-something Persian cat) turned into the ultimate buzz-kill. Let's just say she had what can only be described as the oddest reaction to carsickness I never expected to experience. (If you're really curious, Google rectal prolapse, but not immediately before or after eating.) This inevitably led to a mildly-hysterical Julie asking Mike (who is a people doctor, not a cat doctor) for medical advice. Mike got us connected with a local vet with an after-hours emergency line. That night I learned some interesting facts while helping the vet sedate Gwen and get her innerds put back inside. 1) Cats have really small veins, making it really difficult to put in an IV. 2) Some cats respond with an instant jerk and "flee-for-life" response when the Ketamine hits the system. 3) Even without front claws, Gwen is dangerous and can draw sufficient blood when met with the soft skin of a forearm. 4) Gwen does not like the mask used to administer nitrous oxide. 5) While finally succumbing to said nitrous oxide, cats will often growl with each breath (which is quite comical when observed). 5) Also, as they fall deeper in sleep - the tongue protrudes. Gwen has a freakishly long tongue!!! 6) Vet offices are not romantic ways to end an anniversary. Stupid Gwen.

We again got a late start on the fourth day - mostly because it was after 1 am before Julie and returned from our adventures with the vet the night before. Due to our love of all things unhealthy, Julie and I were jonesing for some butter burgers from Culver's. We thought we'd trust the GPS to find one somewhat along our route -- which ended up taking us through downtown Kansas City, MO, on some streets obviously not designed for the truck I was driving. Retrospectively a bad idea. But, man, I love me some butter burger. I'm sad the closest one to us currently is in Tennessee. We drove to Paducah, KY this day, passing through Missouri and Illinois. I decided southern Illinois is really pretty at sunset.

Finally, we had reached our last driving day. We left Paducah, KY, and started our trek. Tennessee, you provided me with some truly beautiful scenery for the drive. This made driving alone somewhat more bearable. I think I'll need to go back someday and check out Chattanooga when I have time. However, once we crossed the line from Tennessee into Georgia, all hell broke lose. I'm sorry great people of Georgia, but you cannot drive. And that includes the homicidal truck drivers. From Utah to the Georgia state line we had effectively traveled in a convoy with the two cars following the truck. But, we quickly realized it was every man for himself on the Georgia highways and decided to break up (after some nasty close calls) and then reconvene in Atlanta. Oh, and then it started raining - and I mean RAINING. Like so hard the wipers couldn't keep up and nobody knew where the lines were anymore. I pretty much got to the right, put on my hazards, and prayed that I wouldn't die. Fortunately, we all made it to the Atlanta area where we met back up and had dinner. Julie and Vanessa split from me (being they were safer farther away from the bigger trucks I had to follow), again to meet in Athens. We all made it into Athens, GA, a little after midnight and got settled into the hotel for the night.

The next morning, Julie and I were getting ready to go into the property management company to sign the lease when Gwen again made an attempt to be the sole focus of attention. She decided to start throwing up all over herself (fortunately, no re-occurrence of her Missouri adventures). So, she got to meet the vet in Athens before we could even unpack! We ended up just taking all the animals to the vet for day boarding while we dealt with moving in details. When we got to the property management company, we were informed they were cleaning the carpets that day; therefore, we couldn't move in until after 3 pm. I still don't know why they waited until that day to clean the carpets, being I had spoken with them several times in the preceding weeks to verify we could move in on that day. In the end, it turned out to be for the best because the only person I had to help me was an old BYU roommate, who was at work until 3 pm.

In the end, all of our stuff was able to make it into our new home and I was able to say goodbye to that cursed rental truck forever (no tears were shed). Only a few of our items were damaged in the 2000 mile adventure, so that was pretty good.

This is how I feel lately....

So, this picture is a bit odd - and silly. Julie just sent it to me, and I've decided it about sums up how I've been feeling lately. Being in a PhD program is like suddenly being in a completely different world. And I'm not quite sure I understand what is going on all the time. Quite often, it's like people are speaking foreign languages. And there I am - a crazy Utahan trying to blend in. It doesn't help that I wear t-shirts like this to class...

On a side note, I've recently discovered the hilarious blog, hyperboleandahalf - VERY FUNNY. She's created a picture that I've taken to be my new personal motto:


UPDATE:

I have been informed that I must give props to Corin of Corinner-Elly for introducing me to Hyperbole and a Half. So, there, Corin. You have your props. To the other 2 readers of my blog - feel free to venture over to the world of Corinner-Elly for some more funnies.

My New Vocation

Ya know, after 6 years of college and all that time I spent to become a social worker, I decided to change jobs to something a little more suited for my personality. I think I'll go work for this company:

For more Engrish fun, check out Engrish and Engrish Funny.

Yeah, I think "monkey changer" is an appropriate use of my talents. I'd have to say I'm a perfect fit!!!

IT IS FINISHED

After months of stressing (and unfortunately procrastinating) my PhD application to the University of Utah is COMPLETE!!! DONE!!! NO MORE!!! It's such a relief to have everything turned in before the deadline (I had a whole week left). I almost don't know what to do with my time now, being that this has been weighing on my mind for a while now. But, it's done now -- and I move onto the waiting game. I have NO idea when he decision will be made, but it's out of my hands now.

I've lost faith in polls. 3 whole responses on my cell phone poll. That answers my question of how many people read my blog!! It's okay, because I ended up choosing the 2nd place according to the poll. As fun as the Hero looked, I went for the physical keyboard on the Moment. We ordered our phones yesterday -- so they'll hopefully arrive this weekend (or early next week). It's good to have that done too, so I can stop obsessing. :D

EVERYONE WATCH "COMMUNITY"

HANDS OFF MY PEANUTS!!

So, Carsmart has some odd commercials here in Utah. Recently, they're doing this whole "find an antiquated law that is stupid and juxtapose that with how smart it is to buy from us" shctick. Well, the one playing currently reviews the law in Lee County prohibiting the sale of peanuts after sundown on Wednesday. So, at the end of the ad it has a recap: "Remember, selling peanuts after dark is illegal . . ." The only problem is that Mr. Announcer-Mann has forgotten the importance of enunciating the T in "peanuts." The effect sounds more like "peanus." This now sounds like something only boys have - and not a circus treat (unless, of coarse, you are attending Britney Spears' Circus tour -- but that's a WHOLE other subject). So, as I listen to the commercial, I wonder . . . when is a good time to be selling "peanus?"

Why I Couldn't Sleep Last Night

So . . . yesterday was an interesting day. After church (while Julie was playing with her visiting teachers), I was looking online at new cell phones. I have decided I want a new phone - and I want a snazzy smartphone. After see how much AT&T charges for data plans (per phone line) -- not to mention they now FORCE anyone with a smartphone to get a data plan (stupid AT&T), I found that for less money I can get more stuff through Sprint. (Sidebar -- if you are a Sprint hater, or avid AT&T lover, or have some odd undying love for any phone carrier . . . I don't care. Let's be honest, all of the major companies have HUGE downsides between customer service, cost, coverage, etc. I'll miss my rollover, but it's just too much to add data for our current family plan). Anyhoo . . . how this relates to yesterday. As I was saying, I was looking at phones to decide what I wanted. While doing this, I noticed I was "missing" parts of the text and realized this as a vision problem I get just prior to a migraine. So, I laid down for a while and let my eyes rest. I felt a little better, so we went down to "the Fork" to visit our families. The migraine returned with a vengeance during our trip down - but luckily Julie had some ibuprofen and migraine meds that I was able to take and then lay down for a while.

Ok, so how this relates to the title of this article is coming up. When I went to bed I took some Excedrin PM to make sure I could sleep and kill what little headache remained. Well, I fell asleep well, and then POW - midnight comes and I'm wide awake. Still exhausted, but wide awake. The really fun part was that just as I would start falling asleep again, my mind would turn into hyperdrive trying to figure out the cell phone dilemma. Yes, for some reason my sub-conscious decided midnight was THE time for a final answer. Each time I'd get it to shut up and start falling asleep again . . . CELL PHONES. WHAT . . . . THE . . . . CRAP!?!?! It's not like I was having to make an immediate decision -- or even a decision within a month. But, for some reason my mind really wanted to know what phone I'm buying. Damn brain.

(Sidenote, Julie just IM'ed me to say Gary Busey just knocked up his girlfriend and "shouldn't be allowed to reproduce." For those of you who might remember Gary Busey from "Celebrity Rehab," I would have to agree -- and wonder the mental facilities of a woman who is dating him.)

So, to make my mind SOMEWHAT at ease, I'm going to enlist all 3 of my readers to help me decide what phone to buy. Here's the requirements - smartphone, touchscreen, and Sprint. I'll give you my top choices so far to chose from, but if you feel I missed a winner, let me know (and yes, if Sprint offered the iPhone there would be no contest (but, again, I just can't swallow how much AT&T charges for data plans). HTC HERO - SAMSUNG MOMENT - PALM PRE

I am SUCH a geek!!

I know, I'm a geek. I know this because I am practically jumping up and down about the following picture . . .


What is so exciting about this?? The 4 GB of RAM in my new iMac!!! First, I'm more than ecstatic at the fact Julie and I bought a new iMac (well, let's be honest, Julie let me get an iMac). I mean, that's like every single holiday present for the year rolled into one. And then to boot she let me order some RAM to max it out. Giddy. There is no other word for how I feel. I just wish I had this baby at work (my retarded PC there only has 500 mb of ram - I hate it). For those of you who are not yet converted to the beauty of the iMac . . . you're missing out.

Other new items in the life of Brian & Julie . . . our 2nd bedroom again looks like a BEDROOM and not just a hodgepodge of storeage craziness. Thanks to the joys of Ikea, our spare room now has ample storage space - that is hidden behind doors. So, yeah, it takes up a bit of the space in the already small bedroom . . . but now when you look in the first thought is "bedroom." Now, if only we could get some help making it look like nursery (hint hint, God). I mean, the iMac lives in the spare room too, so obviously any baby we would have would be the luckiest baby of all.

Other than that, nothing exciting/new going on. Julie has again changed jobs and is now the Operations Officer at the Utah College of Applied Technology. While she loved her work at the law office, this opportunity came up and offered us a significant pay increase, so how could you say no? We're very fortunate that we are both making healthy salaries with benefits at this time of recession. Very blessed. I'm still assessing the addicts and moving them along to treatment. I have a LOT of crazy stories . . . but due to federal confidentiality regulations they're for my brain only. Rest assured, though, drug use makes for some CRAZY stuff. Wow. I mean, really. Wow.

Well, eventually I will try to post some more. We need to take pics of the spare room to PROVE that it looked this good. I'll post funnies soon, promise!

Why I Love Julie . . .

So, I'm funny. Yeah, I'm not trying to be boastful - it's just the way God made me. Funny. When I was born, the doctor said, "Well, that's a damn funny baby" - and then tried to bury me in a cigar box because I would make the "tragically-born-without-a-sense-of-humor children" look bad. Yeah, I'm that good.

But then there is Julie. She's also funny. But a slightly different funny. Not the "I-think-we-may-need-to-lock-you-up-or-put-you-on-some-serious-psychotropic-medications funny" like me, but the more subtle and "Why-are-people-so-stupid funny."

For example: We listen to 101.9 The End in the morning while getting ready. Well, one of their oft repeated commercials is for cosmetic surgery (well, big fake boobs to be exact). The commercial goes on how self esteem can really effect (or is it affect . . . well, in the psychological sense, affect is a person's outward emotional state - so that just makes me more confused . . . let's try a/effect) a person's outlook and happiness (or positive affect). Yes, I agree with this. It's good to feel good about oneself. We should all try to feel good about ourselves (give yourself a hug right now - then try to chew on your elbow . . . come on, do it! I'm a PROFESSIONAL, trust me . . . ). So, then the commercial takes a twist (wait, am I still talking about a commercial here? For those of you that are still on track with me, give yourself a gold star, then contact a qualified professional for psychological evaluation). Yes, the twist. Self esteem good . . . blah blah blah . . . and now women are talking about how big fake boobs make them feel good about themselves and life is all wonderful and peach fuzz now. Yes, there is a correlation between big boobs and happiness. Worked for Anna Nicole Smith and the "dead behind the eyes" girlfriends of good ole' Hef. So, my mind is working on how terrible this message is . Yes, buy into society's problematic views rather than finding inner worth.

Julie's response . . . There is one "testimonial" that says: "Just because I wasn't born with great breasts doesn't meant I can't have them now."
Julie: "Think about it."
Me: "Yeah, so what."
Julie: "When was the last time you saw a newborn with fully developed breasts?"
Here is where I fall down laughing with the image of a new born with double D's in a cocktail dress. Now I giggle every time I hear this commercial.

Now some randomness for you, then I go back to work . . .

I'm still laughing . . .

So, I totally LOVE 30 Rock. Like way more than I probably should. If 30 Rock was a woman, Julie would need to worry - and possibly set some strict limits. But, fortunately, 30 Rock is NOT really a person (yeah, I did some Wikipedia-ing on this one . . .) so my marriage is safe.

So, we watched this online on Monday. And today in the shower, I remembered this clip and totally busted a gut (Julie can contest to that - she heard me laughing like a crazy person - which is only slightly different than my usual laugh). Then when I was riding TRAX, I again thought of this clip and almost laughed out loud again (but I suppressed it to a smirk - which I'm sure made me look like either an evil genius or schizophrenic client).



So, yeah - my marriage is safe - but maybe not my cats . . .

Shout out to Korean cookbooks . . .

So, I found a Korean cookbook a while ago with a recipe for a meal that was one of my favorites. Winner winner, chicken dinner. Ah, now I want to go back to Korea. But just to sight see and eat Korean food inexpensively (don't get any ideas that I'm being overly nostalgic). I love food. Yeah for good food.

To my three avid readers out there, I'm sorry I don't post anymore. But, the only thing interesting in my life as of late is the craziness of my clients (and silly HIPPA regulations bar me from sharing such information). So, let me think of interesting things I have done lately . . . Julie and I went to Bodyworlds yesterday. Cool, but creepy. I mean, I like learning - and seeing real human donors is really awesome. But, seeing real human donors is also slightly creepy. However, I was more frustrated by the fact that we waited 2 HOURS to get into the exhibit because we waited until the last week to finally go down. Wee. However, we did decide that Utah is full of stupid people. Wait, we realized that LONG ago. Wait, that has nothing to do with Utah. Oh yea, I forgot - I hate people. Why am I a social worker? Meh . . .

We finally took down the tree today. Christmas is officially over now. Took us long enough. It's not because we love Christmas (wait, that came out wrong - please don't think I'm anti-Christmas now) it's becuase we're totally lazy. Poor Howie, he got too used to sleeping under the tree like a furry present (that Julie would not let me unwrap). He's now sleeping at the foot of the bookshelf where the tree was. I wonder if he's dreaming of wrapping paper friends. Nah, he's dreaming of the floor cause he doesn't have enough brain power to conjure actual creative thoughts. He's cute - but very, very stupid. Gwen on the other hand - no wait, she's not very smart too. She is a short-haired Gwen again. Julie and I did another at-home grooming job again. This time we actually bought professional trimmers that cut her fur (what an interesting concept). She still has about a million layers in her fur. Maybe she's going for "the Rachel" look. Or maybe the "I was hit by a truck" look (Julie took pics, I'm sure she'll be posting them to her blog eventually). Or maybe it's all the same. She's funny looking. I like to laugh at her. I hope she doesn't gain the ability to laugh back when we all die and go to heaven. I'll be screwed.

Well, I think that's enough randomness. Again, I appologize that I'm no longer entertaining. I do, however, LOVE Lego Star Wars on the Wii. I need to play with the Wii more (te he, sounds like it should be against the law of chastity). I love playing with my Wii (giggle giggle). OK, I'm OUT! Booyeah!

Slacker Schmacker

Yeah, I should blog more. But I'm a working person now. Blogging or making money to support my family (well, Julie and cats) . . . can you blame my choice?? Quick update from the Brian . . .

Work is going well. True, it's not my dream job, but I'm actually getting into the groove of things well and overall enjoy it. There's a LOT of writing, but other than that, I have no serious complaints. It keeps me busy, so the days go quickly - and it's honest work. :) I figure, I could be working for peanuts at Wal-Mart, so I need not be picky (especially in THIS economy . . .). Yeah, work is good, and also to blame for my lack of posting.

Christmas was really good. Julie gave me STDs in my stocking. Yeah, you read right - in my stocking were STDs. Herpes, Gonorrhea, and Chlamydia to be exact. Luckily I didn't get them the way many people do - unfaithful partners - I got them the cute fuzzy way (hence no divorce papers in processs). Who else but ME can say they are so excited for STDs?? They now live in my office (with a whole LOT of decorations from Korea -- so my office kinda looks like a cheap Chinese restaurant -- I'll have to post pics sometime . . .). Other than my STDs, I also got some clothes, pajamas, a messenger bag, a fun monkey game, etc. It was a good Christmas.

It's late, so I best get to sleep. But I wanted to share a funny with everyone to kick off the New Year. It's from one of my favorite funny websites, CAD (check out the comics and sillies).

Since Brian's a slacker . . .

I took this quiz, so please don't mistake it for Brian's. I will be asking him to take the quiz later, so we can compare notes.

Life Update and Graduation Presents

Only a few days left until I get to actually go to work - I officially start Sept 15th. YEAH. However, I do have to say that I'm going to miss watching TV during the day and sleeping in. It will take some adjusting to waking up early and being somewhere on time each weekday. I think I can do it - especially to start seeing money come back into my pocket again. Yeah, that's worth it.

So, I continued to brew on my love/hate relationship with Nintendo and their retarded marketing ploys with the Wii. However, my desire to own one would not stop. I WANT I WANT I WANT. And now that I'm employed, I want a prize. :P So, on Saturday Julie was the angel she is and started calling electronics stores in Salt Lake Valley. After a few calls, we located one store that had Wii in stock - and it was only 4 miles away. So, we quickly drove over and bought a Wii console and the WiiFit program (Julie is anti-video games and consented to the Wii only because of the physical activity involved and WiiFit). I closed my eyes at checkout (so I wouldn't crap myself) and thougth happy thoughts of playing.

I am enjoying my new toy. WiiFit is better than I had imagined. You can actually get a fairly good workout on it. You'll never become a fitness model, but it's a fun, interactive way to get some daily physical activity. However, I need more games (my birthday is next month - wink, wink). I think my first game will be Guitar Hero (I would love Rock Band - but I'm not sure I can find a place to store all the components in our house).

Also, in the mood of graduation presents, I want to share what Julie, my parents, and in-laws have done for my present. We took my BYU and U of U diplomas and had them customed framed. Having never custom framed anything, it was a bit more expensive than I had hoped -- but they turned out AMAZING. We went with a black leather mat and gold fillet to bring them together. I am really impressed - my wife has good taste!!

Is it Weird I Know This Stuff?

So, today is the saga of the iPod. This saga goes back several years. Somewhere about 2004, I purchased a used iPod on eBay.
It was a 2nd Generation 20 GB model. The really old kind that is massive by today's standards and doesn't even connect via USB. I used it for a while until I kinda fried it. I thought that I would prefer to connect via USB than Firewire - so I bought a 'converter' to allow me to plug it into a USB. I did this . . . and the iPod never connected with an iPod again. I realize this was not my greatest moment - actually, once I did it I realized the stupidity of the move. The iPod continued to play music and work otherwise - but no more adding music. :(

I later bought a 4th Gen 20GB iPod from a friend of a friend. Happy day. For some crazy reason, though, I kept the old monster iPod. I guess it's part of my family genetics -- we have a hard time throwing stuff away. It came in handy this past week.

My brother-in-law's 4th Gen iPod gave the iPod sad face of death. He bought a new Nano, and handed off his dead iPod to me. I saw a challenge - and accepted. Enter amateur iPod surgery.

I opened up the old iPod and removed the harddrive.

I then took the iPod harddrive from ancient iPod and placed it into the newer, but sad iPod. However, the older harddrive was slightly larger than the new one, so I had to do some hardcore squeezing to fit it into the new case. In so doing, I broke one of the internal latches - so the new iPod is sporting a length of tape around the top of the case. However, I feel this is a small price to pay for a fully-functioning iPod.

All said and done, I took two non-working iPods and created one fully-functioning iPod. When it came to naming the iPod, I decided that "FrankenPod" would be fitting. :P

Julie made a comment recently that my computer knowledge is not normal - especially for a social worker. Would this go in that category as well??

Am I THAT Pathetic??

So, I've discovered a new blog that I find amusing (well, I read about it on KSL - but I will still take credit). The blog is created by a fictitious Utah County Mormon airhead - and reminds me entirely too much of the S'Fork and my days at BYU. Really, I think it's an accurate picture of life down there.

Well, I was reading some recent posts and came across this one . . . which includes a shout out to Social Work. OK - maybe not a shout out. More like a burn. So sad. Recently I have been bemoaning the lack of money in my profession, but I try to keep positive. Well, now I feel that the universe is speaking to me. Yup. I'm a putz. I'm doomed to a low middle-class lifestyle forever. Awesome. However, I do find it completely hilarious that of all majors to belittle - she chooses SOCIAL WORK. Come on . . . Music Theater was taken??

I guess I can live with myself and chosen occupation. After all, let's look at the people in society poised to make changes in individual lives. Teachers, for example. Is there any career that is more closely linked to the future and success? Probably not. Do they get paid appropriately? Nope. Would the high-paid businessmen, lawyers, and computer engineers be where they are without former teachers? Nope. Sad but true. Then take Social Workers. Essentially we're paid to try to convince people to not kill self or others. I think that's pretty important. But, no - if you have mad talents at throwing balls and running across fields, then society thinks you're financially viable. I sense inequality.

NEW JOB!!

Good news blog friends - I have been offered (and accepted) a new job. YEAH. And no, it is not with the Prison. While jumping through all hiring hoops for the prison I have been continuing to interview at other places. On Wed, I interviewed with Assessment and Referral Services. The interview went really well - and I actually recognized the interviewers from a presentation I attended at the 2006 Utah Fall Substance Abuse Conference. It's always positive when you go into an interview knowing about what the agency does, etc. Overall, it was one of the best interviews I've ever had. I left feeling quite confident and pleased. I called Julie when I got to my car - and within minutes I received a call and was offered the job (literally, probably no more than 10 min after I left the office). Apparently they really loved me - so that's a good start. Julie and I spoke about the offer over lunch, and we decided to accept. The pay is better than the prison and as a University of Utah employee, the benefits are amazing. I get like 21 vacation days per year. Crazy. As far as compensation goes, I can't ask for more.

The work, however, isn't my dream position. I don't do ongoing therapy - but rather just clinical assessments for substance abuse and DUI issues. The interviews are apparently 2 hrs long - and then the report is anywhere from 6-12 pages long!! That's a LOT of typing. Actually, it seems like I will spend over 1/2 of my time typing assessments. But, that has it's pros as well. The office is very flexible with scheduling - and I also have the option of writing from home some times too. So, I think that it will balance out well. Overall, I think I'll like it. I'm comfortable with substance abuse populations and feel confident in my skills in that area. Also, if I feel that I need to do some ongoing therapy, I'll find a PT job at LDS Family or somewhere that I can work just a few hours a week.

Best part - I don't have to do POST training. However, I was feeling excited to do the weapons training (odd, huh?). I was NOT excited to do the running 7 miles a day thing. So, I think I can live without playing with guns for a few weeks (Julie says that I can go to the shooting range if I want to). It's all good!!

So now I am waiting to hear what my start date will be. I hope they can start me next week. I really want to start doing something with my life and making money. YEAH. So very happy.

Julie has also promised me that once I found a job I could get a Nintendo Wii (the only game system she will have in our house cause it involves some movement and has the whole Wii Fit system). So - being all excited I had thought that yesterday I could go to Walmart or somewhere to buy a system. Too bad they are still sold out all over the place. I guess Nintendo will only ship a few units every few weeks - so they sell out within one day. BUMMER. I hate being let down. So, now I either have to start stalking electronic stores to find a Wii in stock - or order one online. OR I can protest Nintendo's stupid tactics and not buy their product cause I hate games. Seems silly that they don't send enough product. Ya know - if you have to make your customers stalk after you . . . not cool. We'll see how it goes down.